Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Woman to drop 44lb feline out of Cessna, cat plans to end up in Bejing in time for Olympics


44lbs from 800 feet - that's enough to bury all the way through to China, right? It appears we've found the perfect subject for operation Buttercup Free Fall. Weighing in at 44 lbs and the ounces don't matter, Princess Chunky! Wow! Was Princess chunky from the jump or did she marry into the Chunks? Either way, someone must drop this furball from a Cessna. Wait, scratch the Cessna - we need something that can support the full load.

“She’s built like a quarterback,” said Deborah Wright, a shelter volunteer and current foster owner of the kitty. “I mean, how do you lose a 44-pound cat?!”


Michael Vick is not amused by your animal to quarterback comparison, Mrs. Wright. And Colin, can you recalculate the terminal velocity for this albino bowling ball?

(And again, thanks to TBL for the lead.)

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Gooodddziiilllaaa!


Wait, no. That was just an earthquake. Needless to say, I was prepared for Godzilla. Or a tsunami wave full of piranhas. You never know what California will require you to experience next. One time, it rained six days straight here in LA. Oh the horror.

At least I was awake for this one. I had a knack for sleeping through them in San Diego.

5.8 on the scale. Los Angeles earthquake number one in the books.

(Thanks, Ky, for the link)

Monday, July 28, 2008

Pack of Ponies

Not your average day on the road when a line of souped Dodge Vipers looks lame - but that's what two Ferrari 430's, a 360 Spider and throwback 355 will do to your standards.

The boss gave me the fast forward tour of Malibu Canyon roads, pun intended. We dove in up north off the 101 - only to emerge an hour and a half later 10 miles north of Malibu on the Pacific Coast Highway.

Not since the prime days of Mike Denny and his '98 Dodge Ram Sport have I looked for the "oh sh*t" handle to grip in a vehicle. To hell with 8 minute abs, buy a Ferrari and zip that puppy through some canyons - your core and forearms will feel it.

Not that my words ever depict a clear, concise message or image, but in this case pictures are key. Enjoy.

Screen shots of the GPS - Left is zoomed in shot, right covers the greater LA area

Dana's 360 Spider. Check please!

Black 430 followed by a red 430. Nothing like seeing the monetary equivalent of a three bedroom house in suburban America pass you at 160 mph




Yes, a left turn would be useful in the next 100 feet

And just to spice it up, a Lamborghini Gallardo. Love these guys.

While we're on the subject of high class vehicles that I will never own, my nearest and dearest leaky front right tire finally went kaput when I was sniped by a marksman from Bosnia. OR my sidewall was really old and worn out. Thanks, Colin, for warning me that would happen three years ago. I was really on the ball and took no chances by driving around on a cracked tire for 60,000 miles.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

A Comi-Con quandary


If a car leaves Los Angeles at 7:30am headed for San Diego and a train leaves Los Angeles at 11:15 am heading for San Diego which will arrive first? You need to know the speed of the train and car you say? No, no you don't. What you do need to know is that the car portion of this question ran into a bit of traffic. This wasn't your average "I hate the 405 and the lady in front of me" traffic. This was "You will move four miles in four hours and like it" traffic. That's what happens when your semi bursts into flames and lights up a van just for kicks.


Six and a half hours later we entered the Comi-Con zone - it was official when I saw two Storm Troopers walking an Ewok out of a Seven Eleven.


I wish I had more pictures, but I was assigned the roll of TMZ video camera guy. To suffice? A rundown of Trigger Street's wild and very successful day at the Con.

- Taping of AMC's Shootout with Peter Guber
- Interview with MTV News (pictured below, Kevin Spacey and Dana Brunetti)
- Tour ground zero - The Comi-Con floor
- Devils Due Publishing / Trigger Street panel to announce new Comic section on TriggerStreet.com
- Dinner and drinks
- Kevin presents at Star Wars awards
- Screening of TS production of FANBOYS
- Take over Ivy Hotel bar


Great trip, not just for me, but for Trigger Street. I'll be putting together a highlight reel of our guerilla-style footage, look for it on our site.

And I feel the need for a Pet Peeve post coming soon - check back later this week.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Cats do not want you to read this


File this tidbit of information under the "things to try out on someone else's cat" category. From the amazingly entertaining book pictured to your right.

"What is the best floor of a building to throw a cat from?

Any of them above the 7th floor. Here's why:
Higher than the 7th floor it doesn't really matter as long as its oxygen holds out. Like many small animals, cats have a nonfatal terminal velocity - in cats this is about 60 mph. Once they relax, they orient themselves, spread out and parachute to earth like squirrels. Terminal velocity is the point at which a body's weight equalizes against the resistance of the air and it stops accelerating - in humans it's about 120 mph, reached in free fall from about 1,800 ft.

There are cats on record that have fallen thirty stories or more without ill effects. One cat is known to have been deliberately thrown out of a Cessna aircraft at 800 feet that survived."


A Cessna aircraft!? Who the hell made that a Saturday morning activity?
- Mow lawn
- Clean gutters
- Release Buttercup from 800 feet

Naturally, I turned to YouTube for any visual evidence supporting such wild claims. No Cessna aircraft footage available. Cat vs. Tree will have to do. Make sure to stick around for the slow motion replay and the post-fall cat interview

Friday, July 18, 2008

Paddy goes for the jugular

A congrats to Padrig Harrington for surviving the Category 5 bogey-fest that was the British Open.

1. Harrington (+3)
2. Poulter (+7)
T-3. Stenson (+9)
T-3. Norman (+9)
T-5. Furyk (+10)

Those
are the final round totals? Looks like an afternoon out at Eagle Bend (after 9 holes) with the old stick-swinging gang (side note: I still hate hole number 8 - I'm +23 for my career.)

Perhaps I'm failing to give credit where credit is due, after all Harrington fended off 40 mph winds, an old Shark, a major-less El-NiƱo and a guy in pink pants.


DICK CHANEY DOES NOT WANT TO SHOW OFF HIS GARDEN

A neat list of places you're not supposed to see with Google's eye in the sky. Some are legit, others just strange. Take a look.


ESPYionage

A classic case of popularity over quality - at least in the editor's opinion. Best game in sports. This year. Goes to...Giants vs. Patriots? It was a great game, a Super Bowl that, for once, was better than the crap commercials that drive it. But better than KU vs. Memphis? I don't agree. The pace of action basketball provides makes this a no-brainer for me. Yes, there were missed free throws and Hack-a-Shaq fouls. I'll take anyone shooting free throws over the NFL replay booth sequence. How awful is that to watch? Cue up repetitive camera angles, slow motion rewind, babbling announcers and unfortunate attempts at product integration like this:

This replay was brought to you by the Coors Light Cold Hard Facts and the Cold Hard Train presented by Coors Light, home of the Frost Brewed, Big Mouth hole, unnecessary blue frosty liner, shitty commercials beer. Drink responsibly. And don't drive after drinking our beer while watching this commercial.

Thank you, NFL and Coors Light. (By the way, players can't endorse alcohol(via Deadspin) but the league they play in can? Hold on, I'm calling Alanis Morissette to see if that's ironic...)

Holy tangent, I digress. Back to the ESPY nonsense. I can't complain about this being a popularity contest, that's what the ESPYs and Who's Now etc are. I'll just complain about the outcome because, as a KU alum and Patriots fan, what did you expect?

The Dark Knight entertains, Derek Jeter dates ______ (instert Maxim 100 name), AT&T is premature, and a guy who can probably beat you at Guitar Hero

Managed to make my way to a Dark Knight screening on the WB lot last night. Very good movie with an unbelievable cast. Heath was great - completely nailed his role. C. Bale was on par with his Batman Begins performance and Michael Cane continues to make me wish I had a butler ("what will it be today, Mr. McCallie, the 90's Explorer or the stolen 10-speed?). I won't give too much away but the action sequences are unbelievable (look for the Joker's hospital scene - awesome).
I still wish they would make these movies with an "R" rating. Heath was as evil as PG-13 would allow, but throw in some f-bomb laced tirades and graphic knife duels and Ledger's character would've been darker than solitary confinement. But then again, with an "R" rating, you won't have opening week predictions like this.

DEREK'S DIMES
Now on to the "further proof that Derek Jeter eats Lucky Charms daily" section of the blog. Just stumbled across this article. Really, DJ? 6 out 100? What a list to own 6% of. However, he failed to crack the top spot.

(Note: My girlfriend frowns upon my Marissa Miller obsession, so to pay her back for that last link, here's your Canadian boy toy, Ky. Watch out, Scarlet)

AT&T TIPS THEIR HAND
The Web Site guy over at AT&T must've been working off a hangover while managing the morning updates. A little bit of news about AT&T's plan to introduce free Wi-Fi spots around the country was leaked "on accident" by AT&T.

And while I'm on an AT&T kick, their cell coverage makes Sprint look like a dedicated land line. Maybe it's the iPhone, or maybe I've had a bad week, but I've dropped at least one call everyday since owning the 3G-Unit. Get it together AT&T or I'm phreaking my iPhone and switching carriers.

YOUR GUITAR HERO STREAK STOPS HERE
Last, and definitely least, this guy. Was this a contest for "fastest guitar" or "Undertaker lookalike?
(Start watching the video about half way through).

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Ichiro Suzuki = George Carlin?


I know I'm a few days late on this one, but I couldn't resist. Why, you may wonder, has the American League been so dominant in the All-Star game in recent years? The answer lies within the 5'9" Japanese quote (and hitting) machine that is Ichiro Suzuki. Apparently Suzuki channels the late, great George Carlin to fire up the AL squad.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Further proof that old white men are scared of the young, celebratory athlete


Make sure your local gang bangers get the memo - there will be no communicating via hand signals with your favorite NFL players. I'm sure the league's experts will do a stellar job in their identification of what's appropriate and what's not. Just a guess, but this process will be about as fair as professional athlete altercations in Miami.

I suppose after the Darrent Williams incident, the NFL PR mill was activated for show and tell purposes. Add this to a growing list of questionable, if not idiotic, restrictions in professional sports. The NBA hates your iPod, MLB does not care if you're cold, and aside from the gang signs, the NFL does not care for your imaginary ass being revealed.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Shady still the in shade of Orange Juice Mayonnaise

O.J Mayo goes Powerade commercial on us and Shady puts up solid numbers. Whats a guy gotta do to get a headline around here? Beat USC at home? Win a National Championship? Congrats to Shady, Rio, BRush Tee, Mother Russia and DJack for getting paid. I'm not sure if they still pay using bottles of Popov in Russia, but if it not Sasha, ask for these lovely ladies.

Mayo with Mustard (ESPN)
KU vs. USC (LJ World)
Chalmers sends Kansas to OT (Sportsline)

Monday, July 14, 2008

Sherron was using the elevator for cargo purposes only


So good to hear that our speedy fire hydrant / resident bulldog Sherron Collins was cleared of, well, making an elevator even more awkward than it already is.

And props to Josh Hamilton, err Justin Morneau?

28 in one round?
Well played Mr. Hamilton, just don't go Bobby Abreu on us.

Collins won't face chargers (KC Star via TBL)
Hamilton rescues derby (CNNSI)
Sluggers can't blame second half (SeattlePI)

Would you like cheese with that?

To steal from the lamest commercials on television - time to vent. It's pet peeve post one, here we go.

Much to the surprise of my friends, I'm not a fan of cheese. Before you deduce such, it is not a Brett Favre-related issue (although those cheese hats look terrible).

I get looks of shock and horror when I mention my non-interest in the queso.

"Whaaat?"

"You're crazy."

"I hate you."

"Your voting privileges should be revoked."

All are common responses. Regardless of all that, on to the pet peeve. Typically, if I ask for a hamburger, I would assume it is made up of hamburger, with an occasional piece of lettuce, tomato or pickle. If you include cheese with my hamburger, please identify it as a cheeseburger (see that, we named it for you, pissed off waitress lady, so you could tell the difference between the two - how innovative!)

And to add insult to shitty food, on top of throwing that little slice of lactose on my burger, you'll charge me an addtional dollar too. Great. When I tip you, I'll be sure to include that same slice of cheese.

One down, many more to come.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Reviewing my 3G-Unit

Two days in with the iPhone 3G, so far, so-so. I'll take an O.J (stab) - crude humor, I know- at an unbiased review of this wonder phone.

On the surface (not literally), it's an amazing piece of technology. It took me two hours to realize this little sliver of Mac magic was also a phone. I had no interest in making a "phone call". How boring! Instead, I'll just triangulate my position with the GPS, email you a picture of my coordinates and follow it up with a text message confirming the email's delivery. Phone call? 1844 called for its technology.

On to the Good vs. Evil

The Good:

The Apps store. There's more upside to this part of the iPhone than Kwame Brown in the 2001 NBA draft. For Steve Jobs' sake, let's hope it doesn't pan out along the same path (paging Michael Jordan's talent scouting abilities). I started off basic, downloading the Facebook, Bank of America and Google apps. More on those in the Evil section. Once I got a feel for the store, I tried out Loopt, Pandora and MLB.com gamecast.

Loopt - Very cool, however, "restraining order" potential ranks just below the scene outside a Jonas brothers concert. Loopt tracks your location (via GPS) and allows you to track your Loopt friend's positioning as well. Overall a fun app, but just know, the eye in the sky is watching.

Pandora Pretty much what you'd expect from the web's best Internet radio. User interface is simple but efficient, and the graphics (screen shot on right) show like an iPod album with clear icons for song approval or rejection. The major downside? Pandora won't run in the background of your phone, which means any other activity will cause the music to stop. It's like a last call gone wrong when you can't listen to your Cool Kids station because you just got an email from 1-800-FLOWERS.com





MLB.com Gamecast -

A perfect app for any baseball fan living outside of his or her team's television market. The actual gamecast portion of this app is nothing special, but the kicker for this app is the updated video highlights. Select any game on the MLB schedule and the MLB.com server feeds you video highlights from the games. We're not talking old school, Sprint-style highlights that required a permit, homing pigeon and 2 week clearance process to receive - no, no - on demand baby, delivered right to your wonder phone!

The GPS technology - A must have for anyone staring down traffic issues en route to work. The "maps" function of the phone works as effortlessly as google maps on your computer. With good reason - it is google maps on your phone. Find your current location? One click. Checking traffic? One click. Switching from map mode to hybrid? One click. Finding directions to any number of overrated sushi restaurants in LA? A ton of clicks and typing - but hey, at least you can do it. The GPS tracking is fast and accurate - turn on the track mode and watch your blue dot fly - directly into the trunk of the car in front of you.

And now, THE EVIL:

The Battery- Did someone poke a hole in my battery or is it the 18 hours of constant use I've put on this puppy? This was the one area my old cell phone was strong in. What I'm failing to factor here is that my old Treo spent so much time dropping calls and turning off whenever he so pleased that his tank o' energy was always full. That sneaky devil. Not the case with the 3 Warren G phone. At least you'll have a great time sucking the power out of this little guy.

Can I customize? - A small matter to nitpick, but one of the first things I wanted to do with the desktop background was remove certain icons. No cigar, says Apple. Calculator and Stocks? Really? Maybe for someone who's rich and desires to check the square root of his bank account. I yearn to be in that demographic.

Windows-esque glitching - Pardon my cliche Windows bashing reference, but there are flashes of "Vientos" in my iPhone. Loading the contacts page seems clunky (I'm not even to 100 yet) and Safari goes Don Cheadle and crashes often. Perhaps I'm holding this beast to an unfair standard - but the way people are waiting around (see, myself and a few others) it's hard not to expect perfection.

App Upgrades needed - As I mentioned above, some very popular apps need work. The Facebook app doesn't allow you to post on walls. Facebook with no wall posting? Sounds like playing volleyball with a beach ball in knee-high water - stupid. And with most of these apps, they don't run in the phone's background. Hopefully these issues can be addressed with a new crop of updated apps, but we'll see.

OVERALL - The mail program works great, the SMS texting runs just like aim, saving each individual threaded conversation and the YouTube application leaves you just a couple clicks away from gems like this (Wichita, stand up!) Despite its flaws, the 3G-Unit iPhone is the Paul Pierce of cell phones - there may be some flashy foreign models out there (Kobe), some with more hype and substance(LeBron) but The Truth prevails.

Now go get one and add me to Loopt.

* Side note: If you happen to click on the "flashy foreign models" link, make sure to read the description on that video. Talk about features on a phone! Bar code scanner? Does it pour your milk, too? My iPhone is frowning at me right now.

An official iDiot

It only took 8 hours, two animal style contraptions and one unnecessary fight. But I have obtained the iPhone. An Apple employee congratulated me for purchasing the toy. An interesting approach to make me forget the last 4 hours of my morning.

I'll pony up the courage for a review in the next day or two.

Pet Peeve on tap for tomorrow.

Posted from my 3G-Unit

Photobucket
Photobucket

Friday, July 11, 2008

On the board

What becomes of a blog that is never read? Does it survive? Do squirrels start to inhabit the abandoned comment sections? Interesting questions to ponder. Hopefully this blog will not lead me to those answers.

I've wanted to give this blogging bit a try for a while. I cover a decent portion of the blog world on any given day, from The Big Lead, Deadspin and Fire Joe Morgan, to Defamer (TMZ light - hey, I work in Hollywood), and of course, keeping it in the family - Miss McCallie's Elementary Thoughts . I must say, Miss McCallie's entrance into the blogosphere was the final straw. That was my calling, my time to let everyone know who inherited the family writing gene (her), who went to a prestigious university (her) and who cannot spell definetly (nope) definetely (try again) definitely (YES!).

If you're looking at the title of my blog, and can't figure out what it says or why, that's good. A little confusion to draw some attention never hurt. For those of you who know me, you know I will talk sports with a tree, car battery, stain on my shirt or any other inanimate object that will listen to my hatred for Brett Farve's inability to retire. I make no promises to be unbiased in my coverage of the sporting world. My loyalties are set, and as you'll soon see, well defined.

As for the pet peeves, my girlfriend and I started making lists of all the little things that bug us a while back. We pitted the list of pet peeves against our "enjoyments". Like an exhibition game in Allen Fieldhouse, it wasn't close. Not since Larry David has someone amassed a list of of nuisances so quickly. This odd habit of tracking and charting potential thorns in my side all started because I wasn't able to answer that very question - "what are your pet peeves?" I vowed never to be caught off guard again. It was time to pony up and catch the evasive peeves running around my life. I caught 'em all right - all 42 of them (and counting). I'll start sharing momentarily, most likely on a regular basis.

And what about "The Unusual" part of the title you ask? **Wait, no one is reading this. If I refer to "you" and it's "me" writing and reading, what is that, like the 3rd person once removed? Professional athletes everywhere are confused.** The unusual category of this blog is a cop out for me to post such nonsense as this guy, an unfortunate article about NBA players from Duke, and last but not least, a good laugh at the expense of people who take themselves seriously. Thank you, I am still laughing.

So there you have it, I have undoubtedly answered none of your questions, probably left you thinking about things you hate, and made you confused as to whether or not Brett Favre is actually retired.

Thanks for reading (patting myself on back).