tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45717036453508808762024-03-05T10:48:53.455-08:00Ridiculousnessocity®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.comBlogger57125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-42355488674034875002010-10-01T15:52:00.000-07:002010-10-08T01:16:24.397-07:00The internet is written in ink - Armond White edition.First, skim <a href="http://www.nypress.com/article-21675-discourteous-discourse.html">this</a> column by Armond White. Don't feel like it? Ok, I'll give you a shoddy synopsis below. <br /><br />Here's the gist of White's article: There are too many novice voices blabbing on the internet and reviewing films. This is a problem, White contends, because these inexperienced voices are nothing more than regurgitated thoughts from the water cooler at work (we have a water <span style="font-style:italic;">trough</span> at work, not sure what century Armond is from). These same voices of the internet masses do not further any stimulating discussions about films, rather people swarm to sites like <a href="http://www.rottentomatoes.com/">Rottentomatoes.com</a>, ingest the (according to White) biased reviews and simply spit back out what they've read regardless of what they truly think about the movie. Movies with good reviews will continue to get good reviews because reviewers cave to the peer pressure to fall in line with the rest. <br /><br />To an extent, I agree with Armond. I agree that the internet and its free-and-easy conditions of anonymity allow for rapid fire, vomit-like text additions. Between twitter feeds and YouTube comment sections, the internet can get uglier quicker than Heidi Montag at a plastic surgeon's office. <br /><br />But in White's article he's making the case that a few films, notably Toy Story 3, The Dark Knight, and The Social Network, are garnering attention solely due to their marketing budgets and buzz from the brain-washed internet minions. In my opinion, but also in alignment with that damn hype machine Rotten Tomatoes, all three of these films were excellent. <br /><br />Now before I go on, let me admit I have a horse in this race. A big, fucking show pony in this race. I work at Trigger Street Productions, and my boss, Dana Brunetti, produced The Social Network. Am I too close to the fire to claim I'm not hot? Most would say so. But I'm being as unbiased as you were in your last session of jury duty when I say I'm positively certain this is a <span style="font-style:italic;">fantastic</span> film. <br /><br />In accordance with White's logic, if I tweet / blog out to my fellow non-professional film critic friends that I loved The Social Network, think it's the best thing since I Can't Believe It's <span style="font-style:italic;">Not</span> Butter and hand jobs (completely unrelated, I swear), the <span style="font-style:italic;">only</span> reason I said that was either a.) I'd read it online, b.) heard it at the water cooler or c.) gotten completely tricked by the Sony marketing department (or for you smart asses scoring at home, d.) because I'm on the payroll). <br /><br />I assure you none of the above options are the reason I tell people I loved The Social Network. I tell people how great the film is because - wait for it - I think it's a GREAT FILM. <br /><br />Are the cinema elite the only ones with opinions worth listening to? I enjoy film critics like Peter Travers, Roger Ebert and Armond White as they know the world of film better than I ever will. But it's as if White dismisses the weight of peer opinions, labeling them as a hype machine that misleads us into believing that a film like Toy Story 3 was worth the $16 and a 97% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. <br /><br />White's real issue here is the overwhelming amount of attention he receives for his patented attacks on what the majority of people see as an outstanding film. White seems to think people are so caught up in this peer-induced hype, that there is <span style="font-style:italic;">no way</span> this many amateur film critics, bloggers and people at the water cooler could share such equally high marks for these films. <br /><br />That's where White is wrong. These movies are that good. The Social Network <span style="font-style:italic;">is</span> that good. <br /><br />Don't believe me? Go see for yourself. (Ok, <span style="font-style:italic;">that</span> was for the payroll...)®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-1514461926230625412010-01-26T14:50:00.000-08:002010-01-26T14:51:49.445-08:00Alex Roman, you have my attentionBehold ten minutes of unbelievable animation. <br /><br />That's right, anything you see in this video is computer generated. <br /><br /><object width="400" height="225"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=7809605&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" /><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=7809605&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="225"></embed></object><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/7809605">The Third & The Seventh</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user1337612">Alex Roman</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-85761336401266693492009-12-23T18:57:00.000-08:002010-01-05T19:44:59.930-08:00Eldrick Tiger WoodsI'm back. Back from the land of thoughts protected by 140 character limits. Back from the TMZ zone as I try to catch a glimpse of a Tiger in trouble. Back from the swine flu, which turns out is just the flu, which turns out still just sucks. <br /><br />But why speak now? Why not just twitter some smart ass remark about how much I hate Time Warner or AT&T, you don't ask.<br /><br />My favorite athlete of all-time. That's why.<br /><br />Tiger Woods.<br /><br />I'll cut to the chase on Tiger. We all know what happened. Actually, we all know what may have kinda actually perhaps happened thanks to numerous reliable sources like RadarOnline.com (there are no radars - I checked), The NY Post (they now have a column written by the hooker formerly known as Eliot Spitzer's) and TMZ.com (the only known place where human beings get excited for Octomom.) <br /><br />The bottom line is Tiger Woods has been cheating. A lot. With all sorts of squirrels. It amounts to another high-profile athlete or celebrity being unfaithful in his or her marriage - clearly nothing new. <br /><br />So why are we so enthralled with Tiger? He plays golf, a sport most consider slightly less exciting than sitting in a 2 hour line at the DMV on your off day. <br /><br />Look no further than quality, world-class deceit. Tiger Woods successfully fooled billions of people, some near to him, others continents away, for nearly 13 years. My limited mind knows of no other more thorough, brilliant and successful PR campaign in the history of modern athletic celebrity. <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq93WisqF52E42cDF3U0ovskY2m7QRMfNDvjMHoePrC_yFaWRhSAIWr7jBspvN8Z0k7EuI6v1CmQu0Ti9LVa3UpyCM4AN94_jp53h_iAYqHCGSh5eJQrWXEaI8HlCenYAShGNhhsTInJXC/s1600-h/IMG_1091.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq93WisqF52E42cDF3U0ovskY2m7QRMfNDvjMHoePrC_yFaWRhSAIWr7jBspvN8Z0k7EuI6v1CmQu0Ti9LVa3UpyCM4AN94_jp53h_iAYqHCGSh5eJQrWXEaI8HlCenYAShGNhhsTInJXC/s320/IMG_1091.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5418216402203342466" /></a><br /><br />Michael Jordan came close, then allegations of gambling came to light. Kobe Bryant? A night in a Colorado hotel changed his course of endorsement perfection. Every player in baseball was saint-like until every player in baseball took steroids, lied about it, then failed a drug test.<br /><br />But Tiger? He has a tendency to block his release and slices a drive occasionally. He also frequently mentioned the word "fuck" on CBS. <br /><br />Seriously, that's it. <br /><br />We have never seen anything like Tiger. An absolute freak of nature at his sport combined with unmatched endorsement power, he was the perfect canvas for a painting worth over a billion dollars. <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_seQ8NZ8g71ephX0LdvEcvpu3X5jcyFiQ4T8dTmTsKa3UtPtu-bQ_T-7t9359EuclalpknqqEpi8gDO1vkeiaOShOalMMl__yrRAMoDXU4HDznkhgCqHl5pmaUohYq1DHo0jFhHzMWQvz/s1600-h/IMG_1066.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_seQ8NZ8g71ephX0LdvEcvpu3X5jcyFiQ4T8dTmTsKa3UtPtu-bQ_T-7t9359EuclalpknqqEpi8gDO1vkeiaOShOalMMl__yrRAMoDXU4HDznkhgCqHl5pmaUohYq1DHo0jFhHzMWQvz/s320/IMG_1066.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5418216033382048002" /></a><br />That's exactly what Mark Steinberg, Tiger and team IMG painted. And it worked brilliantly. <br /><br />Until now.<br /><br />I firmly believe Tiger Woods is better at what he does than anyone else in the WORLD is at what they do. Biased? Hell yes I am. I love golf, but part of loving golf is knowing how hard it is. Golf is more mind control than physical attributes - Tiger Woods is like the Dali Lama meets Lance Armstrong with a touch of Cassius Clay. <br /><br />But now Tiger has gone from perfect to far from it. From marketable to questionable. From adorned to scorned. Tiger's "transgressions" force me to play a hand. Who do I join, Team "Tiger" or Team "I Can't Believe That Human Screwed Up, I'm Trading In My Buick"? <br /><br />This sad scandal doesn't change a thing for me as a Tiger Woods fan. I'm not in it for Tiger the spokesperson. I'm not in it for the politically correct press conferences. I'm in it for the golf. Was I fooled by the synthetically polished image for all these years along with everyone else? Yeah, I suppose I was. <br /><br />But you know what Tiger Woods didn't fake? <br /><br />14 Major Championships.<br />71 PGA victorys. <br />10 PGA Player Of The Year Awards. <br />Winning the U.S Open on a fractured leg - in a playoff. <br /><br />That's authentic. <br /><br />My admiration for Tiger as an athlete is clear, but that's not to say I don't feel for Elin and her family. I can't imagine the hurt of your marriage crumbling down, on a public stage no less. <br /><br />However, this public undressing of an icon may be for the best. It may be what Tiger needs and it may be what Elin needs.<br /><br />It's hard to believe that people equipped with the money and power of Tiger Woods are meant for marriage. His life is relentlessly full of commitments to things like commercial shoots, private golf clinics, interviews, sponsor wine and dines and not to mention just a little bit of golf. As hard as golf is, a successful marriage has to be harder. Add on all the above to the hundreds of millions in the bank and nearly every woman you see throwing herself at you and you have a recipe for one trip to a celebrity divorce lawyer's office.<br /><br />So how does he get out of the (LAME PUN ALERT)woods? Play golf. That's what got you here, to the top of a now-tarnished mountain, and that's your vehicle out. You are the best in the world at something you do, and only a VERY small number of people can say that. <br /><br />So get the sticks out and swing 'em. Get out the Scotty Cameron and roll one in on 18 at Augusta to win it. <br /><br />Go back to basics, Tiger. Go back to annihilating any and all on the golf course.®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-3262460641935496082009-09-02T23:28:00.000-07:002009-10-05T23:13:53.195-07:00Quick hitters<span style="font-weight:bold;">Doritos Of Death - </span>Paging all beautiful, health-consciousness, attractive, smart, good looking, witty young women willing to drag my ass to Whole Foods. <br /><br />Why? Because my list of life's nutritious necessities goes something like this: <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_iaYXhQEQQsA/SsmiFw3wd7I/AAAAAAAAAPU/hh4LCv3Q3XY/s1600-h/dorito.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_iaYXhQEQQsA/SsmiFw3wd7I/AAAAAAAAAPU/hh4LCv3Q3XY/s200/dorito.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5389016649027319730" /></a><br />1. Doritos<br />2. Stella<br />3. Oxygen<br /><br />I've tried all imaginable preventative tricks - hide the damn Doritos, don't buy the damn Doritos, eat all the damn Doritos so there are none left, put cottage cheese all over the damn Doritos.<br /><br />Nothing works. The Dorito is now the Erin Andrews of snack food - I can't get enough no matter how full I am.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Delay Of Game -</span> I have a healthy list of rants on the NFL, but today I stick to the chain gang. <br /><br />I'm a neutral NFL fan. I don't have a team I paint my extremities for and I don't wake up at 8:30 AM for anything but work and that goddamn weed eater outside my window on Saturdays. <br /><br />So how does that affect my NFL viewing experience? <br /><br />I have a lot more time to bitch about the little things.<br /><br />Today I admired the process of the NFL chain gang. For those of you not familiar with this brilliant symphony of human interaction and 1950's technology, you're not missing anything. Two sticks bound together by a chain measuring 10 yards in length are used to determine whether or not the ball has advanced 10 yards, or enough for the 1st down. <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_iaYXhQEQQsA/SsmivFwNn-I/AAAAAAAAAPc/fYasGS1uw1g/s1600-h/first%2Bdown.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 239px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_iaYXhQEQQsA/SsmivFwNn-I/AAAAAAAAAPc/fYasGS1uw1g/s320/first%2Bdown.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5389017359007457250" /></a><br />But what I don't get is why the hell this process is used when it's not needed. Like today. When the 40 yard line represented the first down. And the ball was spotted at the 39 yard line. What the hell is there to spot? Nothing. It's 36 inches from the promised land, fellas. Move on. <br /><br />Instead, we watch two old guys trot out with chains, stare at a football and make a gesture with their hands representing a vague translation of the distance between football and first down. <br /><br /><s>At least it's fair, accurate and free of human error.</s> <br /><br />Weak rant, I know. But don't worry, I'm going to bring it when I let loose on instant replay.®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-87999665429016918062009-07-12T20:57:00.004-07:002009-07-12T21:31:19.505-07:00I do not mention how much I hate Time Warner in this postSince MTV seems to be preoccupied with running "My Super Sweet 16th Birthday: The Spoiled Brat Chronicles" and "The Hills: As Real As The Script Let's Us Be", I've taken it upon myself to highlight a few music videos. In classic tradition, I'm going Good, Bad and Ugly.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />The Good:</span><br />Fresh of his mainstream fame in "The Hangover", Zac Galifianakis gets his Hype Williams on and crushes these two videos. Simple concept yet really, really funny in both cases. <br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krTE0AJkqj4"> <br />1.) Fiona Apple - "Not About Love"</a><span style="font-weight:bold;"> (YouTube won't let me embed?)<br />2.) Kanye West - "Can't Tell Me"</span><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/rXzO0944PC0&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/rXzO0944PC0&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2nzrs_kanye-west-cant-tell-me-nothin-feat_music"><br />(Better quality version here)</a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Bad: Muse - Knights of Cydonia</span><br />I really don't know where to start with this one. The tone is set around the 1:10 mark. A random, Wade Boggs lookalike cowboy, while riding horse through desert, takes out laser gun and shoots small bush with blue laser, setting it ablaze. I mean why wouldn't you? Clearly that 6 inch bush needed a good burning. And what was it thinking, just growing like that?! Ugh, the nerve of natural vegetation sometimes.<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/G_sBOsh-vyI&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/G_sBOsh-vyI&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />The Ugly: Blondie vs. The Doors - Rapture Rider</span><br />First, in no way is this a knock on The Doors - in fact, the first 1:20 are quite enjoyable. But after that initial Doors kick, this wannabe cracked out version of Michelle Pfeiffer comes in and just craps all over the video. Not literally, although some may interpret that as an upgrade. And what the hell is the half-naked black guy dressed as an Indian doing hiding behind a fake bush?! (2:10 mark)<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dnhKPw2NXIw&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dnhKPw2NXIw&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-40758564363017763012009-07-01T22:16:00.000-07:002009-07-02T10:44:59.890-07:00My relationship with Lady Gaga will be contentious from here on outIt's been months, kids. You know what that means, right? Time to unload those pet peeves like a toddler with a bag of skittles. Did that makes sense? Absolutely not - just prepping you for what's below...
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<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Radio Station loyalty - </span>Poor radio - left in the dust by that damn Internetz years ago, AM/FM radio stations have less to look forward to than Bernie Madoff on a Friday night. Flooded by repetitive Autotune-laced, Lil Wayne-infected, Lady Gaga-esque garbage, radio stations continue to pepper my cranium with 75% garbage music (PITBULL), 10% commercials, 10% self-promotion and 5% quality music that I don't give a shit about. <br><br>But for the next paragraph or so, I'd like to focus my bitch juice on the 10% station self-promotion. The new radio station** in Los Angeles seems keen on reminding me of all the listeners that have "made the switch" to the NEW ninetysometherother(point)whatever. Wait, made the switch? Surely these callers mean temporarily, right? No? You're telling me they actually leave their radios tuned to your station while you blast commercials for low interest rate, used car rip-off centers? How loyal of your young brainwashed clan of robots! But hey, Seacrest, get real. The <span style="font-weight:bold;">second</span> I hear some thirty-something, wannabe-sexy Dracula voiceover guy trying to pitch me a BK Chicken Crisper, I punch the next number. Hell no I don't know what station I'm changing it to, I just cycle buttons 2 - 6 on my dial until I hit the illustrious commercial-free land.<br><br><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwMMAaZA4yddCqBFP4dvBIqxxzxdRxn_qo409dSABhk5GmvMjX50PJATNV_ls9ZSUs9UJd0MOavGhyphenhyphenC98YvOulmALY43cyyBZoXwPs6PNO0zqQtHcoVoSWP4O5XB3DHfS85Mi7nqtNUfn9/s1600-h/0623-npr-cvr.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwMMAaZA4yddCqBFP4dvBIqxxzxdRxn_qo409dSABhk5GmvMjX50PJATNV_ls9ZSUs9UJd0MOavGhyphenhyphenC98YvOulmALY43cyyBZoXwPs6PNO0zqQtHcoVoSWP4O5XB3DHfS85Mi7nqtNUfn9/s200/0623-npr-cvr.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5353758125995735794" /></a>But what if every one of you clone stations are playing that damn <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fVQzaBRoE4">Pitbull song?</a> (It's happened numerous times before) - I lay down my ace-in-the-hole. You guessed it, NPR, motha shuckas. Damn right I'd rather listen to a four minute story on a blind Afghan sheep farmer than hear Lady Gaga talk about her disco stick.
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<br />**by new radio station, I mean a station that is an <span style="font-style:italic;">exact</span> clone of <span style="font-style:italic;">at least</span> three others.
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<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Lady Gaga -</span> - This human waste of space is shooting up my list of "Top 3 reasons to Hate Humanity". So far the list goes like this:
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<br />1.) Time Warner Cable / AT&T
<br />2.) Lady Gaga
<br />3.) Lady Gaga
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<br />If only Lady Gaga would have a dumb robot call me from blocked number every week to remind me about a bill I'm well aware of. Anyone know her reps? <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6cefHYxPo_oK0CYJ16QFFsXFXkvYrZxs7WSe5YkxnWIOnhGhg1LIvUhWD-qsyw6aenOs5nRWU9um8tnPcsJwgRrsg_TnWOHmJZ20Jr4osIA_juA8Da7AqC6qT_gjlqMzykWvWrzEIDZHz/s1600-h/comparison.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 206px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6cefHYxPo_oK0CYJ16QFFsXFXkvYrZxs7WSe5YkxnWIOnhGhg1LIvUhWD-qsyw6aenOs5nRWU9um8tnPcsJwgRrsg_TnWOHmJZ20Jr4osIA_juA8Da7AqC6qT_gjlqMzykWvWrzEIDZHz/s320/comparison.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5353748275930646866" /></a>
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<br />Anyway, I've got questions about this whole "disco stick" she keeps referring to. Since I have no idea what the f*ck that means, can I just make it up and we go from there? Great! Ok, here we go - my disco stick is a Howitzer cannon aimed at your right knee cap. It will fire lead buck shot in your direction next time it hears the song "Poker Face" (t-minus 10 minutes, on those sweet LA radio waves, honey!)
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<br />Better stop there, I think I just woke up my local ATF office.
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<br />The phrase "Don't Judge a Book by its Cover"</span> </span>- Come on, that's like me telling you not to judge me even though I reek like Colt-45. Sure, I'm probably drunk, but what if I'm not and I just smell??
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<br />Ok fine, all the authors / librarians / teachers out there, you win. I promise from here on out I won't judge a book by its cover.
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<br />Instead? I'll read the last two pages, back cover and shitty review on Amazon.com.
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<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Lastly -</span> I must apologize for unloading my pent up annoyances on you like Wade Boggs unloads on a 24 rack. I'd like to keep up with this blog, but when you find yourself repeatedly sleeping on a couch at work, it's much easier just to bitch in person. So, to take you into my next post, I leave you with two things I actually like.
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<br />1. Charles Hamilton / Drake </span>- Two fresh voices in a terribly stagnant rap music industry. Hate on rap all you want, but there IS good material out there. Neither have a CD out now, just mix tapes that are well worth the search. Here's Charles Hamilton's <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wPFskQI56Q">"Brooklyn Girls"</a>
<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy36wDeFdeM7F6TPVKfe8gccRrWlX6ZKaTqqx5EmNQvKCdirYzT0KVlP2a67uHTsUP4DDYleAeQjLfo0lov_-GxYN4aknj0DCFAyeFkTgtidSR61Tk6rHA8-uz227DH6le3AWXrpTL4iwY/s1600-h/joegolf.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy36wDeFdeM7F6TPVKfe8gccRrWlX6ZKaTqqx5EmNQvKCdirYzT0KVlP2a67uHTsUP4DDYleAeQjLfo0lov_-GxYN4aknj0DCFAyeFkTgtidSR61Tk6rHA8-uz227DH6le3AWXrpTL4iwY/s320/joegolf.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5353756668057227298" /></a>
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">2. Golf -</span> Ok, it's a bit of a cop-out answer, but I seriously wanted to feed my golf clubs to the next pond I saw for the last year. But, after a couple rehab rounds in San Diego and Ohio, I'm back on the bag. How long will this fix last? Probably until the next 90 I post. Until then, swing away. ®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-17414085738438714082009-04-10T16:10:00.000-07:002009-04-10T16:57:48.046-07:00Right place, right time.Thought I'd go ahead and re-post my KU highlight videos from last year. One, because it's proof that we would kick the shit out of this year's Carolina team (again) and two, because these videos are the reason I have my job today. If it wasn't for the hours of DVR'd hoops games, my laptop (thanks, Dad), Final Cut (thanks, Dad), and free time (thanks Dad / crap San Diego job market), I would've never weaseled my way into the editing / assistant gig I have at Trigger Street. Just a matter of luck (see: preparation meeting opportunity). <br /><br />Don't settle for spending hours on the resumé, rather find a skill set and learn it.*<br /><br /><br />*Do not try this with the sport of golf. You will spend anywhere from $3-5k and lose all motivation to continue playing due to plummeting self-esteem and ballooning scores. (See: me)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPzH9KGDrae6lPegmgubdlCfyL-qhNbjkJaYgCTA_M1zZXmyD1ugIUKaXIoq22HoiqDWCD0jS9pebqNecuwhucwL2X0az7c7NS2qZRa6e7kBzp8AOQDT2_bBCzYHpNwzWQFti2GPVKBu21/s1600-h/swing.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPzH9KGDrae6lPegmgubdlCfyL-qhNbjkJaYgCTA_M1zZXmyD1ugIUKaXIoq22HoiqDWCD0jS9pebqNecuwhucwL2X0az7c7NS2qZRa6e7kBzp8AOQDT2_bBCzYHpNwzWQFti2GPVKBu21/s320/swing.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5323215980612020978" /></a> <br /><br /><br /><object width="400" height="302"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=711276&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1"><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=711276&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="302"></embed></object><br /><a href="http://vimeo.com/711276">KU Hoops highlights</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/bigboleto">TheBigTicket</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.<br /><br /><br /><object width="400" height="302"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=902736&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1"><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=902736&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="302"></embed></object><br /><a href="http://vimeo.com/902736">Running the table, NCAA Tournament style!</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/bigboleto">TheBigTicket</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-32200026553688515732009-04-01T22:19:00.000-07:002009-04-09T18:09:21.670-07:00Quick HittersBlogging piñata-style, hit it and see what comes out.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Horoscopes </span>- Let me get this straight, you want me to believe some generalized advice and predictions printed up for the masses based on when my birthday is? That sounds promising. I'll check it once I'm done holding for Ms. Cleo.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />North Carolina:</span> Props to Roy for winning one with his own recruits. No props for Hansbrough for anything. At all. Ever.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoMKNn74b2j2T_Ue9oJZzFmZJ6tMa3Dk86ZQEDzXmGk9F21myEvqTCBnJdUVaFDd5kekSZeicCYHHFkZykdKkC5lM_RNiC0MavA5n299Ncj26cOP22m06PH_oaRZlvQoeZkXP-sKxNd_8k/s1600-h/tyler.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 305px; height: 245px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoMKNn74b2j2T_Ue9oJZzFmZJ6tMa3Dk86ZQEDzXmGk9F21myEvqTCBnJdUVaFDd5kekSZeicCYHHFkZykdKkC5lM_RNiC0MavA5n299Ncj26cOP22m06PH_oaRZlvQoeZkXP-sKxNd_8k/s320/tyler.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322860964818847362" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /><br /></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /><br /><br />Bill Self:</span> AP coach of the year honor is well-deserved. Next year should be fun if this "inside info" I've received is correct - Xavier Henry to commit to KU, and Sherron is planning on returning. Watch the F out, Big XII.<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_iaYXhQEQQsA/Sd6awXaDAbI/AAAAAAAAAM8/tRs27m6IKKE/s1600-h/la_confidential.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_iaYXhQEQQsA/Sd6awXaDAbI/AAAAAAAAAM8/tRs27m6IKKE/s320/la_confidential.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322861965306167730" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">L.A Confidential</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">:</span> I'm still dragging ass on getting through all the films K.S has been in but man, this one was worth the wait. Great cast and terrific production value. Bonus points for any movie based in L.A, I love seeing familiar spots on the big screen. And by familiar I may or may not be referring to a street where I received a ticket from the generous LAPD.<br /></div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Twitter:</span> I've finally come around on this 140 character at a time thought-launching pad. I resisted at first, letting my profile dwindle in obscurity, but reluctance turned to motivation once I saw my Dad had more followers than me. #DadOut-CoolsKid<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Nintendo Wii</span> - Throwing your shoulder out while endangering anyone within a six foot radius of you has never been so fun.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4rts-ZfiJFYSGwg82_qdy2wsPeJUbW5uGIujfOWhbXpY1YGr9bNum19qn1WH2ob6HqMR8-yPRbD5LwQjgFsRmrdOg6LLO65O_0bEwlIV_790cj0ZS58p6LS-DRLOZkEBpcBw_oYRXKF7s/s1600-h/nintendo-wii-controller-damage.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 251px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4rts-ZfiJFYSGwg82_qdy2wsPeJUbW5uGIujfOWhbXpY1YGr9bNum19qn1WH2ob6HqMR8-yPRbD5LwQjgFsRmrdOg6LLO65O_0bEwlIV_790cj0ZS58p6LS-DRLOZkEBpcBw_oYRXKF7s/s320/nintendo-wii-controller-damage.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322862865741369394" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Xbox Customer Service -</span> - I'm going to stop listing customer service centers that piss me off. Instead I will list the places that were actually helpful. That list does not start now, as my Xbox customer service experience could be likened to eating glass covered in cottage cheese with a side of mold.®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-7327736807940734802009-03-22T20:29:00.000-07:002009-03-25T18:41:20.106-07:00Type Gate '09<span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So the ball is in my court. The girlfriend has served up her </span></span><a href="http://www.kygor.blogspot.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Top Guys" </span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">list and maintains that she has no "type" of guy she prefers. This becomes quite the back-and-forth, I claim she's all about rail-thin, musically-inclined punk rockers and she quickly refutes that I'm all about tall, blond with boobs-and-a-tan girls (my awkwardly-intense obsession with Marisa Miller probably doesn't help.)<br /><br />Why is this an issue? Well, it's not so much and issue as it is humorous. Utilizing your eyes, one can see that neither Ky nor I resemble the others alleged type. </span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /><br />She</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> is a beautiful brunette with no ambition to go blond (and stay that way, please! :)<br /></span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span><span style=";"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Me?</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> Well the last time I had long hair, it was parted down the middle as I rocked a Stussy shirt with stonewashed jeans. And I was 12. Rocker </span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">fail.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I'm musically inclined if you count </span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">playing the recorder for one month in 4th grade. And </span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I sucked at it. Musically inclined </span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">fail.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span><span style=";"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Let's settle this with some good old pictures, names and summaries you won't read. Any order prior to the last two is purely coincidental:</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /><br /></span></span></span><span style=";"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8SzVkADL92fGWO9lw6ZnHYhtiDFOR742puxgw5RXRiUxs2YRkIfS1J8qkVfbTu7ETad2lxLjbAR_dL269n1BeUFL0ulmJGqFMiqLhmHno_ldreqhghka3FDzRPUVaRa5KurIUhrToQ699/s1600-h/tamara-brown.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 181px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8SzVkADL92fGWO9lw6ZnHYhtiDFOR742puxgw5RXRiUxs2YRkIfS1J8qkVfbTu7ETad2lxLjbAR_dL269n1BeUFL0ulmJGqFMiqLhmHno_ldreqhghka3FDzRPUVaRa5KurIUhrToQ699/s320/tamara-brown.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5316276313572446962" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Tamara Brown: </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> Bare</span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> with me o</span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">n this one as she's a bit of a rising star. Anyone familiar with the heavy dose of</span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> Carl's Jr. ads run on ESPN knows this girl. Tamara happens to be the only tolerable thing about th</span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">e Carl's Jr. commercial toting the "steak sandwich" (which happens to look like what you get when you mix LSD, Denny's and onion rings). But alas, Tamara and her blue dress make me forget all about that nasty contraption of pending heart attack. Unfortunately for me, this blond falls right into Ky's argument.</span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span><span style=";"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Ky: 1</span></span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span><span style=";"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Me: 0<br /></span></span></span></span><span style=";"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span><span style=";"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmOlcakOoxchUYUQbUEpwTF0pa2UJkLWxzxuJVlTBmSVAxhKJLX917Vr2Vt_EGm16fpgGjCuP7nfE7lmYyMvesyoUpvGKHbuc05we9d8_5Ktl5q3D65SZg6UrKMdRE2TU9nUgRtEt9aYhI/s1600-h/Cheryl-Cole-0408-8.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 190px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmOlcakOoxchUYUQbUEpwTF0pa2UJkLWxzxuJVlTBmSVAxhKJLX917Vr2Vt_EGm16fpgGjCuP7nfE7lmYyMvesyoUpvGKHbuc05we9d8_5Ktl5q3D65SZg6UrKMdRE2TU9nUgRtEt9aYhI/s320/Cheryl-Cole-0408-8.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5316279214432912914" border="0" /></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><span style=";"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Cheryl Cole:</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> I'm hopping</span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> the pond for this next lady, Ms. Cheryl Cole. Cole is among</span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> the growing lineup of gorgeous WAG's from Europe (while I'm blanking on the technical term for WAG, </span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">it seems to mean gorgeous woman dating heinous soccer star - save that Becks fellow). I have no idea what she does for a living but something tells me it has to do with looking good and being seen. Easy to do with looks like this.</span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> Brunette takes the cake on this one.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /><br /></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Ky: 1</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br />Me: 1</span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /><br /><br /></span></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">(Ed note: It seems this lovely lady closely resembles another beauty on this list...number one, anybody?)</span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /><br /></span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span><span style=";"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO8zlY8Bvs1PS6zL-jhxn2kzOYY7PaJHG32IcEL_yJ0BHi7SBtCSeZ7nQdOwncvP4FZkDUxJ_1ss2I4U-nBOkm-pCqOV8Hc1lLVeKGNYxVV29BI-oF3U-IGAjkpLV0ChKQCcmUEf6gqA3O/s1600-h/Rachel_Taylor021.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO8zlY8Bvs1PS6zL-jhxn2kzOYY7PaJHG32IcEL_yJ0BHi7SBtCSeZ7nQdOwncvP4FZkDUxJ_1ss2I4U-nBOkm-pCqOV8Hc1lLVeKGNYxVV29BI-oF3U-IGAjkpLV0ChKQCcmUEf6gqA3O/s320/Rachel_Taylor021.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5316282592523407858" border="0" /></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><span style=";"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Rachel Taylor:</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> M</span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">ost of you will</span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> find this pick to be a stretch on my part, but female Australian accents have a way of sealing the deal. You can find Rachel Taylor in Transfo</span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">rmers playing the part of a computer "expert". Trust me, if experts looked half this good, I'd call the Geek Squad anytime my freaking toaster broke. Only in Michael Bay's Hollywood, people. The man has an eye (and a tad bit of leverage). Back to blond though, Ky takes the lead back.<br /><br /></span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span><span style=";"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Ky: 2</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br />Me: 1</span></span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span></span></span><span style=";"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl8grapvqy0x_SFGvK8qN_f9ZYgnT5lUTucWPVrq8Rpxzwr8RCyMkttzZsTlH8gz4uagsXdXueFrbJttZVn5fBS1686ojwh0fI6rUxAgiLHAswUtqGOeMLSvFFeZGaaKP45DmpkUfpXNZN/s1600-h/megan-fox-3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl8grapvqy0x_SFGvK8qN_f9ZYgnT5lUTucWPVrq8Rpxzwr8RCyMkttzZsTlH8gz4uagsXdXueFrbJttZVn5fBS1686ojwh0fI6rUxAgiLHAswUtqGOeMLSvFFeZGaaKP45DmpkUfpXNZN/s320/megan-fox-3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5316286226960728114" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Megan Fox:</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> The trendiest pick on my list, Ms. Fox seems to be the new Jessica Alba. N</span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">ot to take anything away from either, but every year or two Hollywood spits out the new "it" girl. Not Britney "pyscoidiot" Spears or Lindsay "hotwithissues" Lohan, but rather a girl that no one c</span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">an get enough of. Maxim,</span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> GQ, TMZ, Megan Fox has been ripping away headlines since the release of Transformers and I see why. </span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">A brunette with light eyes is hard to beat. I don't think she'll be off the H</span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">ollywood It radar for at least a couple more shitty movies. And back on the board for me.<br /></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br />Ky: 2</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Me: 2</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /><br /></span></span></span></span><span style=";"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCKvIWMBUWGrnJVoDa7wbOHAYE8HwAWJXmF2b6eum9E_5LyRbOB6L7Dg4cTUpAVoa_xUKUYXHuZ9v3pEJq0P85wC8OjHLB_sdbmosbrbqHyRsTwkE3tJn0N6K7vaDvWHR_8scFKEtcvCoZ/s1600-h/08_marisa-miller_07.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 212px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCKvIWMBUWGrnJVoDa7wbOHAYE8HwAWJXmF2b6eum9E_5LyRbOB6L7Dg4cTUpAVoa_xUKUYXHuZ9v3pEJq0P85wC8OjHLB_sdbmosbrbqHyRsTwkE3tJn0N6K7vaDvWHR_8scFKEtcvCoZ/s320/08_marisa-miller_07.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5316289859978768514" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Marisa Miller: </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">*Sighs*. That's pretty much all I've got on this one. She is to me what Brandon Boyd is to Kylie - number two and not moving. As nice as it is to see Marisa with the much-deserved attention of the SI Swimsuit cover, endorsements, Maxim #1 etc, I'm a bit sad to see her leave the shadows of Gisele, Lima and Ambrosio. Seems like for years I was asking about "that one dirty-blond"</span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> VS model. Well, take one incredible picture wearing nothing but </span></span><a href="http://digitalfreak.net.s39124.gridserver.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/marisa_miller_nude_ipod1.jpg"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">an...iPod</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, and that's what happens. One quick side note for entertainment's sake - Marisa is married to Griffin Guess (which is an old Indian name for Lucky F*ck). Just so happens that Griffin was sitting next to Marisa's mom on an airplane once. He gets up to go the restroom, and while there, Mom Miller switches seats with Daughter of Superior Hotness, telling her she should talk to this cute guy she was sitting next to. So Guess comes back from the restroom and nice old lady has turned into </span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">the image to your left. </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">What a trade off! Enter the world's most uncomfortable bathroom and emerge only to meet and marry the world's number one super model? Give me a freaking break! But she does hit just about every one of Ky's proposed stereotypes, so I lose two on this one.<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Ky: 4</span></span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Me: 2<br /><br /></span></span></span></span><span style=";"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDPaexFcTrv8aKWvWXchm3cgUaiRoALBbD1AgK6rrvkFZiXC-67KjUhF6CszzBExftFB-qx3l5l3KV1zQPkc5pXoqubq0OP7rIfheZm_8TD-1ibthrym-Are2lf-_et84NNFaGxhLD_ngz/s1600-h/HolyKy.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDPaexFcTrv8aKWvWXchm3cgUaiRoALBbD1AgK6rrvkFZiXC-67KjUhF6CszzBExftFB-qx3l5l3KV1zQPkc5pXoqubq0OP7rIfheZm_8TD-1ibthrym-Are2lf-_et84NNFaGxhLD_ngz/s320/HolyKy.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5316302545997645106" border="0" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span><span style=";"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Kylie Gordon: </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Save the best for last, without a doubt. First, I have to give her cred</span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">it </span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">for pointing out some previous dating tendencies of mine. Yes, I may have gravitated towards blonds (pure</span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> coincidence), but this wonderfully-beautiful girlfriend of mine trumps them all. She's my ace-in-the-ho</span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">le. A brunette that puts the "b" in hot (makes no sense, I know.) And even though she gets sick of my compliments (most likely due to their repetitive and unoriginal nature), I'm not letting her get off witho</span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">ut a fight - she needs to freaking model. I'm proud to say she's mine, which is obvious by the large head shot that remains permanently plastered on my iPhone backdrop. Love you, gf, and you're worth 10 points, so I win!<br /><br />BAM!<br /></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Ky: 4</span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br />Me: 12</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /><br /></span></span></span><span style=";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Honorable mention: Lily Gordon and Jessica Alba </span></span></span>®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-77504118419946824002009-03-13T17:27:00.000-07:002009-03-23T09:53:53.650-07:00Best instructions. Ever.I have a fear of instructions and I don't know why. Not so much the verbal type, more so the written-out, folded-up, you-must-read-me-or-fail kind. I'm repeatedly convinced I can do without such petty orders.<br /><br />"It's a freakin' drawer from IKEA," I say.*<br /><br />"An alarm clock? To hell with that, you plug it in and it works, end of story."**<br /><br />But why do I resist the directions again and again? Here's why - it's one thing to fail at putting together a desk or table without directions. But if you really want to feel like a horses ass, trying failing at this tasks <span style="font-style: italic;">while using</span> the manufacturer-provided help. Just about the time you plug hole 13 with peg A1, your friend walks over and points out you've actually constructed a giant giraffe piñata instead of a table.<br /><br />Anyway, the time came to replace the printer cartridge at the office yesterday. What comes with this new printer ammo? Super-detailed, CIA-like instructions. Let's take a look:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoS2cHYs6NfFE-nyWK7q2mNbZDllU4w6EQ_m3-wen2p9F_4KYwEwPAB75jFFgnv_nqf7sATW37_TMqJjHSlYqsQnED6hLGgfbKhTBas8ppm4sGgG9VqdW0boNCvIOZsrQUG1dn7z3TKC9_/s1600-h/IMG_1276.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoS2cHYs6NfFE-nyWK7q2mNbZDllU4w6EQ_m3-wen2p9F_4KYwEwPAB75jFFgnv_nqf7sATW37_TMqJjHSlYqsQnED6hLGgfbKhTBas8ppm4sGgG9VqdW0boNCvIOZsrQUG1dn7z3TKC9_/s400/IMG_1276.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5312840440647635762" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Step 1</span>: Find a typewriter. Proceed to prime with left thumb 5-6 times.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Setp 2:</span> Locate butter knife. Butter side of typewriter until clicking noise or arrow appears<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Step 3:</span> Open trunk of printer.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Step 4:</span> Place typewriter in trunk of printer.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Step 5:</span> Do not look at this crack from up-close.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Step 6:</span> Do not ever touch typewriter in this spot.<br /><br />I understand we're under an invasion of economic doom and gloom, but no words with my directions? All of a sudden I'm playing pictionary with the flap of a box. Can I get some details?<br /><br />* I put the IKEA drawer together upside down and backwards. And the front panel fell off. FAIL.<br /><br />** The alarm clock was set to military time for the first 12 hours I owned it. Had to find a Logitech message board for help.®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-62936225663703965042009-03-10T22:37:00.000-07:002009-03-11T14:32:59.638-07:00Best / Worst - Purchases editionEver look at a meaningless item sitting on your living room floor and wonder what the hell it is? Rather, when you bought it and why? This post is dedicated to the periods of purchaser remorse and regret, but also to the few times an item is worth retail fee.<br /> <br />So, I give you the best and worst purchases of the last year. Yes, it's an odd time to do a year-in-review, but I moved to L.A about a year ago. Deal, peeps.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">WORST</span>: <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Jawbone II - Noise Assassin <br />Retail: $180</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyGWkgj-WYTf7yOceNjvhZdkmkBlBCgbNDkBgA6GffpMlGz8TWs0Lsb4M89Lw0Wb3-3ma49ZsTNv7S1JliiU-oL1PPBT3lcO8Q1VMZ4xnwkZoZDvjPMruTL-X0WttgFuy-1ZGgd29rfedq/s1600-h/jawbone.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 179px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyGWkgj-WYTf7yOceNjvhZdkmkBlBCgbNDkBgA6GffpMlGz8TWs0Lsb4M89Lw0Wb3-3ma49ZsTNv7S1JliiU-oL1PPBT3lcO8Q1VMZ4xnwkZoZDvjPMruTL-X0WttgFuy-1ZGgd29rfedq/s320/jawbone.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5312029748333362882" /></a><br /><br /><br />Hands down (and free) on this one. The only thing assassinated was any chance at getting through a phone call without being accused of speaking into a fishbowl from 50 feet down a hallway. Seriously, you should hear the utter disbelief I get from people when I use the hands free ear piece. <br /><br /><br />"Why are you in a helicopter with the door open?"<br /><br />"It sounds like you're talking through a plastic bag, underwater"<br /><br />"I'm hearing every third word you say, so just repeat everything three times"<br /><br />Yeah, thanks Jawbone. It's not like I have any trouble with my iPhone's reception or anything. Have I mentioned that on here yet? :)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">BEST: <br />Logitech Pure-Fi Anytime Premium Alarm Clock <br />Retail: $80</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiaetuNhJU0BfkAIrI6potPFiZ3M3AXmM4MtKPsFWsDBCj9VuPZ5IhJ7c_ixxV_Fi_a7xlTpKQlGFnBQLWsabDxgfT8rZ8L5V7hk5U17Y3u3XneIxk13eTKoA-zwURvfIHtsKw8r4wGLM3/s1600-h/alarm-clock.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiaetuNhJU0BfkAIrI6potPFiZ3M3AXmM4MtKPsFWsDBCj9VuPZ5IhJ7c_ixxV_Fi_a7xlTpKQlGFnBQLWsabDxgfT8rZ8L5V7hk5U17Y3u3XneIxk13eTKoA-zwURvfIHtsKw8r4wGLM3/s320/alarm-clock.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5312031640718191858" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">*I am not nominating this item for the name. Did Microsoft have a hand in that? What a joke. Much to the dismay of the Logitec ad team, I associate the word "premium" with cheap, knock off cereal at the grocery store. Whoops.</span><br /><br />To my delight, amidst a flurry of negative reviews on amazon (no funny ones, though) this alarm clock has done the trick. The trick is, of course, not waking me up by causing a myocardial infarction a-la my old Sanyo (which I believe ran on diesel fuel.)<br /><br />The Logitech is compatible with the iPhone 3G, has a two-alarm setting, and can wake you with music, radio or an anxiety-evoking buzz. The iPod music settings aren't too complex - you can build two "wake" playlists (one for each alarm) or get a potluck wake up call. This morning Logitech chose Jay-Z's "99 Problems." Interesting choice, hopefully my alarm clock isn't in the fortune telling business.<br /><br />It comes with a remote, but I've yet to find the need to remotely shut down my alarm clock. In the event of this happening, I'll make a note to stop sleeping on the floor in the corner of my room.<br /><br />All for now folks, more reviews to come if I ever have any money to buy another mistake.<br /><br />And a movie review should be coming soon, I've been slacking on the Netflix que.®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-41491596355686727942009-03-05T11:40:00.000-08:002009-03-05T14:37:45.731-08:00ESPN hemorrhages with excitement over non-story<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjivy_TDSI2DxtGWebsCLXE4Ho4CxrmraOHkXnTZhSAkikHsF1hWwwQNWyXNRCtqNB3KhhAfWHn-BRqEv_GpxvYWLY0YSZN-TjbJ88gTYNF76XtY7aYnUqQL9i4tO5XZSVhfi5Q0TfbvLJY/s1600-h/pop.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 294px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjivy_TDSI2DxtGWebsCLXE4Ho4CxrmraOHkXnTZhSAkikHsF1hWwwQNWyXNRCtqNB3KhhAfWHn-BRqEv_GpxvYWLY0YSZN-TjbJ88gTYNF76XtY7aYnUqQL9i4tO5XZSVhfi5Q0TfbvLJY/s320/pop.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5309831165800141746" /></a><br />Imagine the pure joy in my living room last night as I collapse to the couch after a marathon 36 hour work session. <br /><br />"All I need is a beer (Stella Artois, thanks office), some food and 10 minutes of SportsCenter" I think to myself.<br /><br />Beer? Obtained and open. <br /><br />Food? Plenty (as in two pieces of bread and peanut butter). <br /><br />SportCenter? Houston (Dallas, actually) we have a problem. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Terrell Owens has been released from the Cowboys</span>. <br /><br />*Crickets*<br /><br />*More crickets*<br /><br />Ok great, thanks SportsCenter. Thanks for the breaking news, but now I'm done with it. I really don't care anymore, ok? What's that? You're ignoring my request (and every other <span style="font-weight:bold;">sane</span> sports fan's) to shut up about Owens? Awesome. Let's see how you can run this story straight into the ground, shall we? <br /><br />Cue up b-roll on repeat of Owens yelling at the same people over the past two seasons? Check.<br /><br />Interview Ed Werder, Steve Young, Keyshawn Johnson and Trent Dilfer while asking the same questions? Check.<br /><br />Ignore all other current sports news while still showing b-roll on repeat? Check.<br /><br />Show me a sports fan who gave two shits about this story after the initial mention. Why is ESPN persistent on running this guy in the ground? He got cut, get on with it. What am I - as a non-Cowboy biased sports fan - gaining from an interview with Keyshawn Johnson? And Trent Dilfer? What the hell does he have to do with anything? <span style="font-style:italic;">I can tell you</span> the same thing these guys will say - nothing but expensive opinions. Give me the facts, and get out.<br /><br />T.O is a cancer. I don't care how much talent he could, maybe, might have on any given Sunday. And don't give me that "it's his desire to win" garbage. Everyone in that locker room has a desire to win. You know what doesn't promote winning? Whining after a loss. Starting shit with your quarterback and tight end. If you can't learn how to lose, you'll never know how to win.<br /><br />Grab your popcorn, T.O. <br /><br />See you on the Raiders roster next season.®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-64193148503463074602009-02-24T14:31:00.000-08:002009-02-24T14:37:46.410-08:00Your afternoon This-Human-Can-Jump-Higher-Than-Me update.Ok, so Shannon Brown's NBA stat line resembles mine in high school (see: zeros across board) but this man can leap. Dig up some old Michigan State highlights if you don't believe me. Or just watch this...<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/K0N5D728RkE&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/K0N5D728RkE&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-85577706641271901002009-02-23T23:18:00.000-08:002009-02-24T01:33:43.520-08:00iDive into iPhotoWith more than 5,500 pics hiding amongst the cramped corridors of my hard drive, I see no harm in sharing some of my archive. From '02 to'08, enjoy the seemingly random photos that follow:<br /><br />One of the hardest days of my life. One not soon forgotten.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMhPyRUTjNWQiytnFtz6v7yyEVBnZue1YUGZhGoeYPhaVkA36WPWhUAPuYjnA0_dtB6xdyTKF3pyaQih7I9jl_mqPDO2pLZGjvuDnsNNfo1ahxUN74ev4qpGiTW5Zg_DQjkqCZPR_B0bUq/s1600-h/101_0105.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMhPyRUTjNWQiytnFtz6v7yyEVBnZue1YUGZhGoeYPhaVkA36WPWhUAPuYjnA0_dtB6xdyTKF3pyaQih7I9jl_mqPDO2pLZGjvuDnsNNfo1ahxUN74ev4qpGiTW5Zg_DQjkqCZPR_B0bUq/s320/101_0105.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306279737954412098" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />At a family Christmas get together. Not your average band instrument<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuflcO734LSX41FGbmtm85GxES-U7PTlf3c0ma0HrLtQT6fKsl7nXoiM_zX0f_KKR0Q95u36Bn-VqGQRRzo4heE9OZxWPTrafhGT2RlP1rIAG8TJv8_8ziupJdmoqcvSQplBJ1qXG2GqMV/s1600-h/krazy!.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuflcO734LSX41FGbmtm85GxES-U7PTlf3c0ma0HrLtQT6fKsl7nXoiM_zX0f_KKR0Q95u36Bn-VqGQRRzo4heE9OZxWPTrafhGT2RlP1rIAG8TJv8_8ziupJdmoqcvSQplBJ1qXG2GqMV/s320/krazy!.JPG" border="0" .alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306280287296362786" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Ah, yes. College days. Many hours spent on that roof.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLQjjC3MGid_83EkkPXUEP7TAY6eTivFn_nQKPFcH0CCeuz8XpSSpULOk3cq1lolDxYDNC_CvCW-GHJl9gBg5ECfgQHUrgK9TOqqY_tzlvYG6a8YNLg6Q5xz3udleYvR6HLiCZgJtw0G7c/s1600-h/IMG_9852-1.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 256px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLQjjC3MGid_83EkkPXUEP7TAY6eTivFn_nQKPFcH0CCeuz8XpSSpULOk3cq1lolDxYDNC_CvCW-GHJl9gBg5ECfgQHUrgK9TOqqY_tzlvYG6a8YNLg6Q5xz3udleYvR6HLiCZgJtw0G7c/s320/IMG_9852-1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306282836112633058" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Just band practice, that's all.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtrV9hMTOfYt7UCTGgyd2vViiEIv4xE7cEkgYURVeUVoL68m45hLyFaYWFJoK1oMaKLu-JPG9ZOOH7tzb0sXvmgxNB8wnV79GX6ABAmv9GM0q9t2PTvrTD6_5x0gAOsLBd4xa5LINhKEvs/s1600-h/rock+out+I.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 256px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtrV9hMTOfYt7UCTGgyd2vViiEIv4xE7cEkgYURVeUVoL68m45hLyFaYWFJoK1oMaKLu-JPG9ZOOH7tzb0sXvmgxNB8wnV79GX6ABAmv9GM0q9t2PTvrTD6_5x0gAOsLBd4xa5LINhKEvs/s320/rock+out+I.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306283266653210706" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Red and future knifing "victim"/KU transfer/Boston Celtic, J.R Giddens. <br />Without a doubt taken at Abe and Jakes.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkLYfzaaUJIUwF4H4trQWSAxkARunREilGJBhGjJagYISHLgKBTKB0iUUho8aE6PrzY4VuYNrqJOYfjeholJ5s2YsQG-EsAPK7YtT9s84pJAOLVHwZ957RjOaaZKLU2raUrNOvI1nKeBx2/s1600-h/Giddens.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkLYfzaaUJIUwF4H4trQWSAxkARunREilGJBhGjJagYISHLgKBTKB0iUUho8aE6PrzY4VuYNrqJOYfjeholJ5s2YsQG-EsAPK7YtT9s84pJAOLVHwZ957RjOaaZKLU2raUrNOvI1nKeBx2/s320/Giddens.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306283690136843714" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Pretty sure Roche was issued a warrant for his arrest after not returning this costume.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9jLYkeNoYIbtRCvaoEWiGuyJZXlqws3foNsn6aZ5JgSr8N0b6bGUFqlvQOmwnAN39YaJarsBXMvq4O-jGAV8Ewq9xjeXUXQh1nCB2z0d5oz8ItsH7E18CW12JIBHhsFUD9U80NI6CHfIg/s1600-h/Trigger+Happy.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9jLYkeNoYIbtRCvaoEWiGuyJZXlqws3foNsn6aZ5JgSr8N0b6bGUFqlvQOmwnAN39YaJarsBXMvq4O-jGAV8Ewq9xjeXUXQh1nCB2z0d5oz8ItsH7E18CW12JIBHhsFUD9U80NI6CHfIg/s320/Trigger+Happy.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306284761366291874" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />One of the funniest days of my life. I filled an entire sim card on the Midwest's NASCAR faithful. Proof that skins in public coupled with wife-beater tanline is visually stunning. <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgf5V7xhbfSSZhzv4jWLEInWcGgZu2YLClGVo0Wccky2fwFGei660zWbIZ-uJ8PKHPvwlCFiPgxxXQZQ-pC9qt7AIxab855zrh57jnQyjoPjH-EKYvN3LXZyehUnSfVLelA5j3YqDNbRgR/s1600-h/Skins+Weather.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgf5V7xhbfSSZhzv4jWLEInWcGgZu2YLClGVo0Wccky2fwFGei660zWbIZ-uJ8PKHPvwlCFiPgxxXQZQ-pC9qt7AIxab855zrh57jnQyjoPjH-EKYvN3LXZyehUnSfVLelA5j3YqDNbRgR/s320/Skins+Weather.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306287440115899602" /></a> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Bar Golf '06. Lots of Bar, not much golf.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWcVlOQH90vKHAk94vfxLDPuj159poqIDYHAWHIfSm4mXtHDWnQtr8lxU5p5sPK-3-ShXHJyKISdpuMgtjgHlfLzA8Aw4CQvYYpWZOh-9wXv1qRKtxMGWGJRBpPFLpIzEEtXq5-Es38wtM/s1600-h/IMG_6732.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWcVlOQH90vKHAk94vfxLDPuj159poqIDYHAWHIfSm4mXtHDWnQtr8lxU5p5sPK-3-ShXHJyKISdpuMgtjgHlfLzA8Aw4CQvYYpWZOh-9wXv1qRKtxMGWGJRBpPFLpIzEEtXq5-Es38wtM/s320/IMG_6732.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306285347695307170" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />First sunset at Torrey Pines. We only got 13 holes in. I didn't care,<br />I was +27 by that point anyway. This was when moving to California went from <br />an "if" statement, to "when."<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_7J8FvDnjJA8A6S45MJAqstt_ADFCiGuVTkQlW5cHKqcOgGe1PnaiiXe0ChnxTJECfAB4JyVXaGVrLjW24gqoj-nHzK-gMh0jYDwVbAXivJHQoYU3PG51zELdLb0J1pCCs59hqH7D16X5/s1600-h/IMG_7607.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_7J8FvDnjJA8A6S45MJAqstt_ADFCiGuVTkQlW5cHKqcOgGe1PnaiiXe0ChnxTJECfAB4JyVXaGVrLjW24gqoj-nHzK-gMh0jYDwVbAXivJHQoYU3PG51zELdLb0J1pCCs59hqH7D16X5/s320/IMG_7607.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306286060541406386" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />But there was once last college hurrah before California. From Lawrence to Oklahoma City to Chicago, I hopped around state-by-state following the Jayhawks into March.<br />Just one year premature in an effort to track a champion, but I did witness the best<br />college basketball player I've ever seen in my life. <br />Behold, Kevin Durant. Monster.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxqR3k2VjgnLUxqjjImtnVI45b4hK9TjmIK50a5MZTTXhmrExaCJHcoBvA3MWDuosM6aHKtepSgj2h5JAimmlkIYHyO9Ylg_GqaUQ9nWs0YsiV4VO9YhB8wby54iT5EvemaKzBVS87uiWC/s1600-h/IMG_0310.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxqR3k2VjgnLUxqjjImtnVI45b4hK9TjmIK50a5MZTTXhmrExaCJHcoBvA3MWDuosM6aHKtepSgj2h5JAimmlkIYHyO9Ylg_GqaUQ9nWs0YsiV4VO9YhB8wby54iT5EvemaKzBVS87uiWC/s320/IMG_0310.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306290507718342338" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />By the way, if any one has any hints on how to make the text wrap around pictures, I'd obviously love them. This looks like some shit version match the caption to photo. <br /><br />Epic blog post fail.®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-3781610959803713652009-02-23T14:09:00.000-08:002009-02-23T15:56:15.804-08:00If two bad teams play in a bowl game, does anyone care? No.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzTMR1Q63i-p39GVL2yskyFqdeHAtxtReHv2kJO4fGhJ9WJ_4pqdKXcsXUaUM3kudqadgKneL_9nTBrZvW5a3zJOAu7Jz7Xpe31hgabIJ_gw_BT303n61z3L2olg1dLGuw0FYmoI02qUME/s1600-h/greater.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 162px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzTMR1Q63i-p39GVL2yskyFqdeHAtxtReHv2kJO4fGhJ9WJ_4pqdKXcsXUaUM3kudqadgKneL_9nTBrZvW5a3zJOAu7Jz7Xpe31hgabIJ_gw_BT303n61z3L2olg1dLGuw0FYmoI02qUME/s320/greater.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306145403755887810" /></a><br />Has the saturation of College Football Bowl games finally caught up to the NCAA? I know my wish (<a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/football/ncaa/01/09/obama/">and another fellow, of reasonable importance</a>) for CFB to adapt <span style="font-style:italic;">some</span> kind of playoff system is falling on deaf ears, but if changes aren't made, I'm guessing we can look for more of this down the road. <a href="http://tennessean.com/article/20090221/SPORTS0602/902210340">From the Tennessean.com:</a><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Bowl officials announced Friday that the 2008 bowl had a $9.97 million impact on the local economy — a decrease of more than $17 million from 2007's bowl — proving home teams and hard financial times don't make for bowl games with big fiscal effect.<br /><br />"It was really a worst-case scenario," said Scott Ramsey, Music City Bowl president. "You have a home team, a team that doesn't travel and a bad economy. So to have 54,000 people come to this game is a success, and it shows how the community bought into the game."</span><br /><br />Yikes. <br /><br />Now I know that's just one game, but I get the feeling this trend will continue unless systematic revisions are made in College Football's postseason structure. You can cut the games back all you want, Committee of Old Rich Guys, but the real solution lies within a playoff system. Don't blame it on the money. It's there - you just have to find it. <br /><br />(Via <a href="http://www.thebiglead.com">TBL</a>)®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-88937094529902187012009-02-18T23:11:00.000-08:002009-02-19T00:28:23.533-08:00Enter the rental: The Netflix experimentSo I gave in. <br /><br />Gave in to the insanely annoying pop-up ads. <br /><br />In to the fact that I'd be supporting a service that even remotely resembles Blockbuster*. <br /><br />In to a service that could easily be avoided (see: any torrent site)<br /><br />Yes, I joined Netflix. <br /><br />So here's the deal. During my Netflix experiment, I'll blog a blurb about each flick I get - a mini movie review if you will. Why? Because I work in Hollywood and can't afford to have too many more conversations like this:<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Anyone with a hint of movie knowledge:</span> "Yeah, it's just like that scene in <span style="font-style:italic;">Taxi Driver</span>, you know where he goes crazy."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Me:</span> Oh yeah I remember that. The one with Queen Latifah and Jimmy Fallon, right? Wait, Jimmy Fallon goes crazy?"<br /><br />Point is, it can't hurt to catch up on the good stuff - classics or not. So off we go. First review? You guessed it - <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjJKEsUReW-Xjo2WEJ0txzSrAidlmroJ51G4V0TnpYVhrYPHujuaOY_q-7I8PtSTDFmUTpjMQ7siufC5Cclgto-dFWRNJD8Pt8Flw63Hf0G6vhuOf7y2S0podj_isQTk0UFxvRFFTfOPVH/s1600-h/taxi.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 135px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjJKEsUReW-Xjo2WEJ0txzSrAidlmroJ51G4V0TnpYVhrYPHujuaOY_q-7I8PtSTDFmUTpjMQ7siufC5Cclgto-dFWRNJD8Pt8Flw63Hf0G6vhuOf7y2S0podj_isQTk0UFxvRFFTfOPVH/s200/taxi.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304419530851280610" /></a><br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Taxi Driver -</span></span> I'm no film critic, haven't even earned my rookie critic badge if you ask me, so I'll stick to the basics.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">What I liked:</span> I was taken up in the mental (in)stability of Robert Di Nero's character from the jump. First, he seems vulnerable - crazy, but vulnerable, as if he can be rescued. So who's going to save him? Cybill Shepherd's character, right? Not so. Once "Travis" (Di Nero), snaps in the election office after the <span style="font-style:italic;">first date!**</span>, it's on. I'm thinking ticking time bomb. When's he going to blow? So I wait, and wait...and finally he's lined up, heading down Nut Avenue and boom, he snaps, attempts an assassination, shoots up a building full of pimps and tries dumping the extra rounds in his own temple. The point is, Travis is crazy, yes, but Scorsese had me on my toes throughout. When's he going to blow? What's he going to do? What happens after? He's shooting a .44 cal with one arm <span style="font-style:italic;">and</span> accuracy? I know I just gave away half the house, but I haven't revealed all, I promise.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />What I didn't like:</span> Call me a new school fool, but some of the dialogue was more drawn out than a Strom Thurmond filibuster. I know, I know - in order to scrape at a character's depth and build emotional layers, they have to actually talk. Sorry, too many trips around the Wayne's World DVD I suppose.<br /><br />Overall: B+<br /><br />Next up: <span style="font-style:italic;">The Kid Stays in the Picture</span><br /><br />* Blockbuster ranks right up there with Time Warner Cable in my book. What an awful company. Anyone who dealt with them in the heyday of rentals knows this. A Blockbuster how-to for those of you keeping score at home.<br />-Charge an arm and a leg for a 2-day rental (which amounts to about 18 hours of watchable movie time).<br />-Make it painstakingly difficult to return a movie (see: must return movie to same store rented from).<br />-Take away dreaded late-fee's using a nationally-charged advertising campaign only to reinstate under-the-radar later, hoping no one would notice. <br /><br />Idiots. Netflix - 1, Blockbuster Free Online Rental Service With Delivery - 0<br /><br />** Where was Joey Grecco for this blowup? I smell a secret 1976 taping of <span style="font-style:italic;">Cheaters</span>!®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-80737511394859951972009-02-10T11:25:00.000-08:002009-02-10T11:45:15.079-08:00Dear Stray Rod,<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6VXD9GF-R7iLnxDEG4h1kWN-oz0Mn0NeuK69MbyB05phXFWUYloz8jvO3UbmwXzVaE3mTtX6Ai0xEz_uf0os7-5ArS1h7d8io7Ic_ECtUUEAnAN4TxYxg1hxv3W3EalcBZxnyBgAQrSBW/s1600-h/arodpursepink_3.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 222px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6VXD9GF-R7iLnxDEG4h1kWN-oz0Mn0NeuK69MbyB05phXFWUYloz8jvO3UbmwXzVaE3mTtX6Ai0xEz_uf0os7-5ArS1h7d8io7Ic_ECtUUEAnAN4TxYxg1hxv3W3EalcBZxnyBgAQrSBW/s320/arodpursepink_3.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301256847755284994" /></a><br />Thank you.<br /><br />Thank you for taking your grease and choke show to New York instead of Boston.<br /><br />Thank you for wanting to be Derek Jeter and failing.<br /><br />Thank you for adding to the 'Roid Row lineup of the <span style="font-style:italic;">great</span> Yankees - Clemens, Pettite and Giambi.<br /><br />Thank you for looking like your wore lipstick to yesterday's interview with Peter Gammons.<br /><br />Thank you for your blatant interest in personal records, accolades and attention.<br />*See Peter Gammons interview (2/9/09)<br />*See $30 million contract bonus for breaking All-time HR record<br />*See free agency announement during Game Four of the '07 World Series<br /><br />But most of all - thank you for the two World Series titles.<br /><br />Love, <br /><br />Red Sox Fan.®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-23006877339829811312009-02-04T23:31:00.001-08:002009-02-07T12:06:29.158-08:00Top Ten TimeRipping the top ten idea straight off the girlfriend's blog, not going to lie. But you know what? All my negativity could use an opponent - time for ten things I enjoy. Didn't think they existed, huh? Here we go..<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">10.) NPR</span> - Yes, I listen to NPR on the way to work. Pardon me if I don't want to be spammed with offers to refinance my home in between Britney Spears' latest attempt at a "song" and news on Madonna's divorce. But more on NPR - how about the last names of all these reporters? Where do they find these people? Enjoy my attempts at spelling a couple names...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">My attempt</span> ------------<span style="font-weight:bold;">Correct</span><br />Guy Risdol ------------ Kai Ryssdal<br />Lackshme Sing --------- Lakshme Singh <br />Madeline Brandt ------- Madeleine Brand<br />Shirley Jihad --------- Shirley Jahad<br />Susan Valet ----------- Susan Valot<br />Renee Montain --------- Renee Montagne<br /><br />What if you wanted a job at NPR and your name was something like Mike Todd? Pat Sajack would be standing in the corner of the NPR interview room like "Uh, next" mumbling "only two vowels? Who is this guy kidding?"<br /><br />And before you mock my attempts at spelling, please take note that I, on my quest to dominate the 4th grade spelling bee, misspelled "journey", g-o-u-r-n-e-y. <br /><br />In front of the entire school.<br /><br />Please hold your applause.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">9. Dexter -</span> Who would've thought being a serial killer could be so fun? Hmm, that probably came out wrong. Any who, this show is killer. Wait, let me take another stab at tha...Ok, I'm on a roll. <br /><br />Bottom line? Get the DVD's or Showtime OnDemand and indulge.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">8. An L.A Winter - </span> You can count on two things during the summer in Los Angeles. One, any place east of Santa Monica will be 103 degrees by 10 am, and two, that window-based AC unit is actually blowing heat into your already sauna-fied apartment. <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir6WIK64twjn681F-s1bAJgsbB51T-4zYfBENMzlq5-U2atiZQ2C6JpzXwmRrOziEx9qZp1XykEs5uqYG7JH4wd3zq9VxiHBoKX6eUWiKwwuwtEs4lKoknCDoYgRLEZl__cX1HSkk1uc8Q/s1600-h/photo.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir6WIK64twjn681F-s1bAJgsbB51T-4zYfBENMzlq5-U2atiZQ2C6JpzXwmRrOziEx9qZp1XykEs5uqYG7JH4wd3zq9VxiHBoKX6eUWiKwwuwtEs4lKoknCDoYgRLEZl__cX1HSkk1uc8Q/s320/photo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5299823322188897010" /></a><br />Don't get me wrong, I love the beach and sun and blah, blah, blah but the winters in Los Angeles are just awesome. Never colder than 55 and rarely hotter than 85. Throw in a little bit of rain, a mudslide that shuts down the Sepulveda Basin and I'm all good. <br /><br />It would be nice, however, if the people of L.A learned how to drive in the rain. Seriously, you'd think we were in Japan and Godzilla was attacking - people screaming, locking up there brakes for no reason, hands ten-and-two, with wipers full speed. Calm down, pretentious house wife from Beverly Hills, it's called a drizzle!<br /><br />(Screen shot from google maps on a rainy day in LA. Red means if you do not have a helicopter, you're extremely pissed.)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">7. LeBron James -</span> In case you had any doubt that this human has the most insanely perfect physique to play his sport (or any other for that matter), I present this...<br /><br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMFk0XAucp0&NR=1 <br /><br />(watch in high quality)<br /><br />LBJ's frame is to basketball what Tiger's mind is to golf - dominant. 6'9", 276 pounds with six percent body fat? Perfectly constructed mannequin's are pissed about that. And at 24 years old, putting the sky as the limit still seems a bit low.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieyAypqDJaXGU4uLUndXM3RVaHmkwqy0CL-8vZnixGtWTphVPRSlan8aExc9cgdngJ4ReeUtrtfKj3Ggjvy0uic5Z1p_PEX9-O0pDVEwD1uSu2S-t6V3kaB-9HZyrCjMO_wBW8sjovpbZq/s1600-h/pip.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieyAypqDJaXGU4uLUndXM3RVaHmkwqy0CL-8vZnixGtWTphVPRSlan8aExc9cgdngJ4ReeUtrtfKj3Ggjvy0uic5Z1p_PEX9-O0pDVEwD1uSu2S-t6V3kaB-9HZyrCjMO_wBW8sjovpbZq/s200/pip.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5299831135835999554" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">6. Kylie's dog, Lily -</span> This little devil stole my heart in less than two minutes. A Boston Terrier has now been added to my things-I-really-want-but-can't-have-for-at-least-five-years list.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij7whsTWsN6C0Fv0xSxlnp6mqFWF4DzvMCTDelfQJdGo2Q6VloUE9nODPhxO1i3zCZBFyPIgv_IBzPKD-grwzM5ChZS9aMBv6yxe9DKaBfTZKH2XYz2-p1hMm0u3MZCOMlCZy-arBzqdMj/s1600-h/marisa_miller_hfs.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 235px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij7whsTWsN6C0Fv0xSxlnp6mqFWF4DzvMCTDelfQJdGo2Q6VloUE9nODPhxO1i3zCZBFyPIgv_IBzPKD-grwzM5ChZS9aMBv6yxe9DKaBfTZKH2XYz2-p1hMm0u3MZCOMlCZy-arBzqdMj/s320/marisa_miller_hfs.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5299914954631274354" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">5. Marisa Miller -</span> Now you <span style="font-style:italic;">know</span> this list isn't in order of appreciation, otherwise this would be one or two. If LeBron is president of the Freakish Physique Club, Marisa Miller is the owner and has three spots on the Board of Trustees. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">4. Hot Fuzz -</span> I've had people give mixed reviews about this flick, but I seem to like it a little more each time I watch. Simon Pegg is brilliantly pissed the entire movie, and the parodies throughout are awesome (personal favorites are the Point Break references.)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />3. Negative product reviews on amazon.com</span> - Hands down some of the funniest material on the Internet. Hell hath no fury like a ripped off, angry, anonymous consumer.<br /><br />A review for the book Ulysses - <br /><span style="font-style:italic;">"It is the only book I can think of where the reader deserves more credit for finishing it than the author."</span><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />2. Commercials for 5-Hour Energy Drink -</span> First, the acting - if that's what you want to call it - is on par with MTV's The Hills. Apparently reading is not a prerequisite for the talent - either that or speaking really slow is in style.<br /><br />Secondly, are people dumb enough to believe there's no crash after 5 hours? If there was no crash, it would be called Infinite Energy drink and you'd be hopped up like Bubbles on The Wire for the rest of your life. <br /><br />Silly consumers. Want to feel rested? Go to bed earlier. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">1. The Audi S5 -</span> Another list of mine, the things-I-want-but-can't-have-for-at-least-ten-more-years, just got a bit more crowded.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzN4VbYOgVrAvGwS3gamRDpAeGDXf6_N0zzXM0JQLVPHBFUHNAZdh-w78yi8Gr9qyGU5Q0dhF6rUOAkvUDeo7HQdEUKdzFhSb7A61eHEbLRAeaZuKJl_wzWJQTUjVQHNmky6VMQw5IHfI3/s1600-h/MTM_Supercharged_Audi_S5_2008_78313_20080527.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzN4VbYOgVrAvGwS3gamRDpAeGDXf6_N0zzXM0JQLVPHBFUHNAZdh-w78yi8Gr9qyGU5Q0dhF6rUOAkvUDeo7HQdEUKdzFhSb7A61eHEbLRAeaZuKJl_wzWJQTUjVQHNmky6VMQw5IHfI3/s320/MTM_Supercharged_Audi_S5_2008_78313_20080527.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300148394275176418" /></a>®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-65777952564418694652009-02-04T21:44:00.000-08:002009-02-06T13:09:27.005-08:00If the NFL was officiating this blog, I'd be flagged for delay of game.Greetings, long lost blog follower(s). Another unplanned, unexplainable hiatus from the blogosphere, and once again I must apologize. <br /><br />But let's make no further haste - I'd hate to keep all three of you waiting.<br /><br />Tonight's topic? The Super Bowl. Outdated? Of course. Irrelevant? Not so much. Before laying into the NFL's pinnacle showcase, I'll give props for an exciting game. <br /><br />But don't start with that better-than-last-year crap. Last year was David vs. Goliath - the undefeated beast vs. the upstart America's team. <br /><br />The most intriguing storyline to this year's chips and dip fest was determining who has more maneuverability - Ben Roethlisberger or a three-legged dog in a pond. <br /><br />But on to my beef of all beefs - penalties and the NFL.<br /><br />Will someone please explain to me the "holding" penalty in the NFL? Like traveling in the NBA, it's widely assumed that holding occurs every play. But <span style="font-style:italic;">unlike</span> traveling, holding is not clearly defined. If you take more than two steps in the NBA (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpQBD672HkQ">save LeBron's crab dribble</a>), it's a travel. <br /><br />So what the hell makes up a hold in the NFL? Let's take a look...<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><br />A runner may ward off opponents with his hands and arms but no other player on offense may use hands or arms to obstruct an opponent by grasping with hands, pushing, or encircling any part of his body during a block. Hands (open or closed) can be thrust forward to initially contact an opponent on or outside the opponent’s frame, but the blocker immediately must work to bring his hands on or inside the frame. </span><br /><br />Did that help at all? Didn't think so. How about this...<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Hands cannot be thrust forward above the frame to contact an opponent on the neck, face or head.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Note:</span> The frame is defined as the part of the opponent’s body below the neck that is presented to the blocker.</span><br /><br />Are we playing football or cramming for an anatomy final? <br /><br />I know, I know, I'm being dramatic. But still, throw in <span style="font-weight:bold;">18!</span> penalties and all of a sudden America's number one obsession (NFL) makes America's pastime (MLB) look like a Usain Bolt - fast paced and exciting.®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-6935086332303365892008-12-26T12:45:00.000-08:002008-12-28T10:11:33.806-08:00Stop the presses!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlnYGv71nCr2FpD7lGwQ2MTB7oAW6xT1CQGR2n77Gusq0R1TKuFYGaK9vEm6ieSmx7yGzu0fF2iuZaP6n1alI9ZPNMBYhoePocaRUUdudCorDGJCtpqHFTdhRrtc4RTbcOxgkSAhYCrTLE/s1600-h/Picture+1.png"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 155px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlnYGv71nCr2FpD7lGwQ2MTB7oAW6xT1CQGR2n77Gusq0R1TKuFYGaK9vEm6ieSmx7yGzu0fF2iuZaP6n1alI9ZPNMBYhoePocaRUUdudCorDGJCtpqHFTdhRrtc4RTbcOxgkSAhYCrTLE/s320/Picture+1.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5284215401539369298" /></a><br />Stop what you are doing. Seriously, stop right now. There is breaking news from the sporting world. News so shocking that you may need a glass of water, five minutes for mourning and free long distance to call a loved one. <br /><br />Ready for it? <br /><br />BRETT FAVRE IS HINTING AT RETIREMENT.<br /><br />You don't say?! Brett Favre, retire? Why on earth would a 39-year-old with an antique shoulder who just wants to hunt, <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3477600">text GM's</a> and come out of retirement, want to retire? <br /><br />Brett Favre missed the memo. <span style="font-weight:bold;">It is not necessary to retire at the end of each season.</span> As each season comes to a close, Brett, each player engages in what's called an "off season." Say it with me now, nice and slow - offff seeassoon. <br /><br />A normal off season? Maybe a vacation with the family followed closely by a strictly-regimented workout plan. <br /><br />But a Favre off season? First, swear off retirement. Let everyone know that you feel "great" and that you "still feel like you can contribute". The day after your press conference announcing your non-retirement, send a text message to your agent mentioning that you have an itch to retire. Make sure this text finds its way to Peter King. Once this headline dominates SportsCenter, hold another press conference and state that you have no idea where all this talk about retirement came from, and that you still feel "great" and "just want to hunt". After declaring your love for hunting and not retiring, simply disappear for three weeks in Mississippi claiming the need "to think about some things". Lastly, emerge shortly after training camp ends and state that you are "fit to play, and still ready to compete". If all goes as planned (and how things have gone the last five years), you'll be <del>playing football</del> holding a new franchise for ransom in no time.<br /><br />And now, in light of this "event", my least favorite sporting events of the year.<br /><br />1. The NFL draft (see also, offensive lineman drafted in the seventh round)<br />2. Brett Favre retiring (considered an actual event after happening at least once a year since 2001.)<br />3. College Football Bowl Season (see below post)®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-91213023605766229582008-12-08T17:26:00.001-08:002008-12-11T18:52:53.889-08:00Amped up for the EagleBank bowl game!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTkE0bL5uiqmmM_HAGfP8O5NTuEcPn3UGCqxCESPneRrLFTM17U7C4Wkt6sdmAOYW5S6yu1543LJjqW4XXXl-4Fh2_OXtWNlU5xnS4_Ll6oyJLPuW0kKTVYMMr7U65LU9kwDiIZzwYzeLW/s1600-h/n_EAGLE.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 274px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTkE0bL5uiqmmM_HAGfP8O5NTuEcPn3UGCqxCESPneRrLFTM17U7C4Wkt6sdmAOYW5S6yu1543LJjqW4XXXl-4Fh2_OXtWNlU5xnS4_Ll6oyJLPuW0kKTVYMMr7U65LU9kwDiIZzwYzeLW/s320/n_EAGLE.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278730628441623458" /></a><br />I'm shaking with excitement as I type. Can you guess why? No, it's not the small cup of fatty caffeine I just swiped from Starbucks. No, it's not the fact that Brett Favre has lost two weeks in a row. And no, it has nothing to do with March Madness being three and a half months away. It's college football bowl season which means it's time to anxiously await games like the EagleBank bowl game, R+L Carriers bowl game, and for all you pizza lovers, the papajohns.com bowl game. <br /><br />You see when I realize it's bowl season, the soundtrack of my life plays a lonely cricket chirping in a field. Or maybe awkward applause. <br /><br />Why?<br /><br />Because the majority of these bowl games are similar to first round March Madness games. While more evenly matched than, say, a 1 v. 16 college basketball matchup, games like Wake Forest vs. Navy, Colorado vs. Fresno State and Memphis vs. South Florida are sure to provide some excitement. But what's the most exciting part about the first round games in March? Your team has the chance to move on and play again! In college football? Nope. Here you go, TCU, congrats on winning the <a href="http://www.poinsettiabowl.net/">San Diego County Credit Union Poinsetta Bowl</a>! You now have better credit than the team you just defeated.<br /><br />Ok, Oklahoma vs. Florida has a chance to be a good game - too bad you have to wait <span style="font-weight:bold;">40 something days</span> to find out.®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-2467054730472122452008-11-15T14:29:00.000-08:002008-11-17T18:04:01.868-08:00Your obligatory pet peeve post<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgncXv45D9GN3qJemGgxsK5C15vjZemOPOkP8aN7rpBMGSwQbFNjInZpdk7_dLm_zpG4em5mXcuK1ziXugDiUAT-Ns0bQa_mVPyIneNB3kpxFLoJAw3qoKZh_K8dPQTnlz8X_nroWuonrqb/s1600-h/larry_david_photo.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 268px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgncXv45D9GN3qJemGgxsK5C15vjZemOPOkP8aN7rpBMGSwQbFNjInZpdk7_dLm_zpG4em5mXcuK1ziXugDiUAT-Ns0bQa_mVPyIneNB3kpxFLoJAw3qoKZh_K8dPQTnlz8X_nroWuonrqb/s320/larry_david_photo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5269811898320220930" /></a><br />What, did you think I found it in myself to quit complaining? Not a chance. <br /><br />Here we go...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">1. Leaf Blowers</span> - Easily the most annoying and useless member of the yard work family. Explain to me the importance and necessity of getting grass off your sidewalk. More so, explain to me the necessity of getting the grass off the sidewalk right outside my window, every Saturday, at 8:30am. *Side note - how bad would it suck to be grass? Think about it. You get run over and chopped once a week, left for dead in the winter, replaced by auto-grass if you don't perform, can't even rest on sidewalks and dogs are SUPPOSED to shit on you!?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br /><br />2. Sitting through voicemail instructions prior to leaving a voicemail</span> - Thanks, 1990, for telling me I can press 1 to leave a message, press 2 to page this person, press 3 to leave a numeric message, press # to review my message, press * for Spanish and of course, press the end button to hang up. A numeric message? Really? What, are we supposed to be fluent in L33t speak now? Idiots. Shorten it up.<br /> *h3y, gr8 2 h3r3 4rom y0u. Ca77 m3!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">3. Can't work the Canon -</span> I see it time and time again, but people who don't understand the basic rules for operating a camera drive me nuts. One, do not take a picture with the sun <span style="font-weight:bold;">directly</span> behind you. You will be reduced to a confused silhouette. Two, your flash is not a get out of jail free card for poor lighting, especially at night. If you can barely see what you're shooting, the flash is useless. Three, resist using the flash as a method to heat someone's face. There is no reason to stick the camera close enough to identify a zit from 6th grade.<br /><br />A generous estimation - when shooting people with flash, no closer than three feet, no further than ten. <br /><br />Camera idiocy has infected the cell phone-touting public as well. Please sir, your two year old Blackberry will not capture the end zone celebration at the Jets game, especially when you're in the 700 section. What do you think this is, Mission Impossible 4? And even if you do snap what you think is a keeper, when the heck are you going to use it? You plan on showing your friends that? "Uh, great shot Phil, I can get a better shot on google maps." <br /><br />I'm not saying cell phone cameras are useless, but you'll get nowhere if you don't understand the limitations of your lens.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />4. Time Warner Cable -</span> Ah, the grand daddy of them all. This could, and may be, on everyone's pet peeve list. And why limit ourselves to Time Warner? Cable companies in general are a pain in your seat cushion. Just yesterday I called to inquire as to why my Internet serviced had suddenly quit. I did my part, checked the cable connections, router settings and power cycled all the appropriate equipment. <br /><br />So when push comes to getting shot, I whip out the iWontWork phone and dial up 1-888-TWCABLE. Who is there to greet me? An automated operator of course. But this special auto bot asks for your phone number. Ok, I say, and oblige. Then, I'm dumped into another system - more questions, and again, I'm asked for my phone number. So two minutes in, and I've given out my phone number twice, and received nothing in return except a mind-numbingly excessive message from the hold "music" that "Time Warner is all the best!". <br /><br />Right. <br /><br />Anyway, minutes later, after memorizing the hold message while mouthing the words, I'm finally greeted by a human. And the first question I get? You guessed it, what's your phone number. WHAT THE HELL, people!? I called <span style="font-style:italic;">you</span> with a question and I've done nothing but answer them for the first six minutes of this call. I understand this information is to "help us better serve you" and I'm fine with that - under the condition that you <span style="font-weight:bold;">use</span> it!<br /><br />And don't even get me started (too late) on the paper mailings from Time Warner. Please, send me more information about your digital phone service for only $29.95 a month! Maybe this time the envelope will even make it into my kitchen, rather than getting ripped up <span style="font-weight:bold;">the instant</span> I take it out of the mailbox. <br /><br />And I'm sure this is all part of Time Warner's attempt to "Go Green".®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-13637048515800347762008-11-07T18:24:00.000-08:002008-11-16T15:46:01.511-08:00Back on the boardRidiculousnessocity has been ridiculousness-less for long enough, so I'm off the bench like James Posey. Here we go...<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />iWontWork</span><br />Time to pull back the covers on the device that, not so long ago, swept the nation off its feet and into line - the iPhone 3G. Expecting rave reviews? Look elsewhere. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6-06X-mxfUzbX8ZR4S29M-caM-Yr3sp-I4FIWi986KwvVJnfTAa-iwfzydPIqqsotTKbRqbyu2eAZq1vDIvwWjM8JJOmz6TDkj9HfKLx7v9uMrlSidM1LowaGK2Nfsn4a32Hi-NlfKkdk/s1600-h/fail.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6-06X-mxfUzbX8ZR4S29M-caM-Yr3sp-I4FIWi986KwvVJnfTAa-iwfzydPIqqsotTKbRqbyu2eAZq1vDIvwWjM8JJOmz6TDkj9HfKLx7v9uMrlSidM1LowaGK2Nfsn4a32Hi-NlfKkdk/s320/fail.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5266486804307381298" /></a> <br /><br />This phone continues to suck itself into a funnel of suckiness - amidst a bundle of "updates" and other iPhony Apple ploys to cover their tail. Truth is, the iPhone isn't half bad at everything BUT the phone function. Nothing like your calls dropping faster than freshmen in Math 001. Once a day, without a doubt. In fact, a day with just one "call failed" is a day of joy, celebration and a call to customer service to inquire why things are working. Ever hear those "more bars in more places" commercials from At&t? What they fail to mention is that a bar is as useful as a dead wombat. What the hell am I going to do with 5 dead wombats? Seriously, your coverage has more holes than the Chief's secondary and O.J's defense argument (either trial). The latest malfunction has the ear piece speaker choosing not to work at its own discretion. Don't worry, not being able to hear the other end of a phone conversation isn't that important. I mean there's always texting, email and carrier pigeons. <br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Happy, happy from the US Postal Service!</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaIzpzC4v9967lZAEmHzqN9krMN-l1rpDq7NQSBoSXE-xYFg7Ei1dYGDY29SHGoaVLUWT7LmdcWn-ckv7stJUHUyQhje7ygwZbNNiMe7mQFSxqUyASRBTc0XOPxzePq5wTm2zooigDhP0J/s1600-h/mail.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaIzpzC4v9967lZAEmHzqN9krMN-l1rpDq7NQSBoSXE-xYFg7Ei1dYGDY29SHGoaVLUWT7LmdcWn-ckv7stJUHUyQhje7ygwZbNNiMe7mQFSxqUyASRBTc0XOPxzePq5wTm2zooigDhP0J/s320/mail.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5266365261068141538" /></a><br />I could go on an absolute tear (pun intended) about the postal workers here in Los Angeles, but in fear that one may be reading while updating their "to kill" list and cleaning an M-16, I'll resist. However, take a second to observe photographic evidence that someone, somewhere really, <span style="font-weight:bold;">really</span> wanted to hear a singing birthday card. What song was it supposed to sing? That, I'll never know. By the looks of the card, it released a noise causing a postal worker to ...wait for it... GO POSTAL. Keep in mind that I made no attempt to alter the state of the card before this picture. It came just like this, inside a plastic bad with a rubber band around it. So, thanks, Postmaster. Way to tear me a new one.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Long distance dilema</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh30jluNYhwLQNLydpim-1s2RlmtzhYj9G4bV7Fahab9MbHIJVDAOoNM7WFxcDLGaAmBnVHTQGIMNtF_ypnoiBm_YOWze_z2RtPR9O564fALKV82NIq_a0313mQg-aaW4EIzjHSjoE2X7g0/s1600-h/bRoom.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 192px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh30jluNYhwLQNLydpim-1s2RlmtzhYj9G4bV7Fahab9MbHIJVDAOoNM7WFxcDLGaAmBnVHTQGIMNtF_ypnoiBm_YOWze_z2RtPR9O564fALKV82NIq_a0313mQg-aaW4EIzjHSjoE2X7g0/s320/bRoom.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5266490352926459026" /></a> <br />I try to stay away from too much personal talk on my blog, seeing that it's visible to any human with a computer and Internet connection (including those wacky Mandanises). But I suppose I'll let you in on the perils of my long distance relationship. That pretty young creature in the pink dress atop this page is my girlfriend. Has been for nearly 11 months. Wonderful girl who I have the absolute best time with when we're together. Problem is, we're never together. I live in LA, she lives in KC. We get about four days a month, and that's on a good month. Sounds easy, right? Suck it up for the 25 or so days in between? Well, it doesn't work like that. No amount of texts, emails, calls, letters, flowers, and smoke signals can make up for the simplicity and comfort of being face to face with your significant other. I'd be lying if I told you I thought it would be easy, but I'd also be lying if I said I thought it'd be this hard. So when is too little not enough? Sounds dumb, I know. I just hope I don't have to answer that question any time soon. If you're reading, Ky, thanks for putting up with me for this long. Its been a hell of a ride.®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-23562444254389439342008-11-03T18:29:00.000-08:002008-11-03T18:36:53.325-08:00Yes, keyboards in California still work.I must start and finish this post with a profuse apology to you, you, you, her and myself (that covers it!) for taking 45 days off from peppering your monitors with my random, scrambled egg-like thoughts. <br /><br />I promise, the days of a stale ridiculousnessocity are coming to an end. <br /><br />As for now, I'm gathering a game plan to prevent a fossil from taking office. Only time, Missouri, Florida and a handful of other meth-producing states will tell until then. <br /><br />More coming soon...®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4571703645350880876.post-80521562458169469212008-09-14T11:11:00.000-07:002008-09-14T21:55:02.231-07:00From King Carl with love<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0i9mOqdAz9nlw9hGrd9DEfZa0o7zbMEaBd_tuEHYY7o1HeFq5mysKl0TWXJw8zBQxqq2QkKaCQVA53k6wAwd-zX5eqhc_V4y-_mmb1TZRsTUvgsiM3STC4EX5HiLoBmTNdr0XP54JJz1F/s1600-h/Picture+1.png"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0i9mOqdAz9nlw9hGrd9DEfZa0o7zbMEaBd_tuEHYY7o1HeFq5mysKl0TWXJw8zBQxqq2QkKaCQVA53k6wAwd-zX5eqhc_V4y-_mmb1TZRsTUvgsiM3STC4EX5HiLoBmTNdr0XP54JJz1F/s320/Picture+1.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5246106531880489538" /></a><br />Dear Chiefs fan,<br /><br />Hi there. We're glad you're up early on the west coast, ready to spend your morning hours watching professional athletes put on a show. After all, that <span style="font-style:italic;">is</span> what we're paid to do. However, before things get complicated, we would like to take this time to specify how we define entertainment.<br /><br />Today, against the Raiders, we're going to showcase our youth and depth at quarterback. Please be patient as we rotate three quaterbacks <span style="font-style:italic;">before</span> halftime. Also, please note that our running game is still in <a href="http://mistermcc.blogspot.com/2008/08/admire-video-editing-at-its-highest.html">BETA form*</a> - but 55 total rushing yards is appropriate when your team focus is on defense, right?<br /><br />Hopefully we'll have this whole winning this figured out by week 14, just enough time to slide up in the draft for next year!<br /><br />Warmest regards,<br /><br />Your 2008 Kansas City Chiefs®andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01316797192983516442noreply@blogger.com1