Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Top Ten Time

Ripping the top ten idea straight off the girlfriend's blog, not going to lie. But you know what? All my negativity could use an opponent - time for ten things I enjoy. Didn't think they existed, huh? Here we go..

10.) NPR - Yes, I listen to NPR on the way to work. Pardon me if I don't want to be spammed with offers to refinance my home in between Britney Spears' latest attempt at a "song" and news on Madonna's divorce. But more on NPR - how about the last names of all these reporters? Where do they find these people? Enjoy my attempts at spelling a couple names...

My attempt ------------Correct
Guy Risdol ------------ Kai Ryssdal
Lackshme Sing --------- Lakshme Singh
Madeline Brandt ------- Madeleine Brand
Shirley Jihad --------- Shirley Jahad
Susan Valet ----------- Susan Valot
Renee Montain --------- Renee Montagne

What if you wanted a job at NPR and your name was something like Mike Todd? Pat Sajack would be standing in the corner of the NPR interview room like "Uh, next" mumbling "only two vowels? Who is this guy kidding?"

And before you mock my attempts at spelling, please take note that I, on my quest to dominate the 4th grade spelling bee, misspelled "journey", g-o-u-r-n-e-y.

In front of the entire school.

Please hold your applause.

9. Dexter - Who would've thought being a serial killer could be so fun? Hmm, that probably came out wrong. Any who, this show is killer. Wait, let me take another stab at tha...Ok, I'm on a roll.

Bottom line? Get the DVD's or Showtime OnDemand and indulge.

8. An L.A Winter - You can count on two things during the summer in Los Angeles. One, any place east of Santa Monica will be 103 degrees by 10 am, and two, that window-based AC unit is actually blowing heat into your already sauna-fied apartment.

Don't get me wrong, I love the beach and sun and blah, blah, blah but the winters in Los Angeles are just awesome. Never colder than 55 and rarely hotter than 85. Throw in a little bit of rain, a mudslide that shuts down the Sepulveda Basin and I'm all good.

It would be nice, however, if the people of L.A learned how to drive in the rain. Seriously, you'd think we were in Japan and Godzilla was attacking - people screaming, locking up there brakes for no reason, hands ten-and-two, with wipers full speed. Calm down, pretentious house wife from Beverly Hills, it's called a drizzle!

(Screen shot from google maps on a rainy day in LA. Red means if you do not have a helicopter, you're extremely pissed.)

7. LeBron James - In case you had any doubt that this human has the most insanely perfect physique to play his sport (or any other for that matter), I present this...

(watch in high quality)

LBJ's frame is to basketball what Tiger's mind is to golf - dominant. 6'9", 276 pounds with six percent body fat? Perfectly constructed mannequin's are pissed about that. And at 24 years old, putting the sky as the limit still seems a bit low.

6. Kylie's dog, Lily - This little devil stole my heart in less than two minutes. A Boston Terrier has now been added to my things-I-really-want-but-can't-have-for-at-least-five-years list.

5. Marisa Miller - Now you know this list isn't in order of appreciation, otherwise this would be one or two. If LeBron is president of the Freakish Physique Club, Marisa Miller is the owner and has three spots on the Board of Trustees.

4. Hot Fuzz - I've had people give mixed reviews about this flick, but I seem to like it a little more each time I watch. Simon Pegg is brilliantly pissed the entire movie, and the parodies throughout are awesome (personal favorites are the Point Break references.)

3. Negative product reviews on
- Hands down some of the funniest material on the Internet. Hell hath no fury like a ripped off, angry, anonymous consumer.

A review for the book Ulysses -
"It is the only book I can think of where the reader deserves more credit for finishing it than the author."

2. Commercials for 5-Hour Energy Drink -
First, the acting - if that's what you want to call it - is on par with MTV's The Hills. Apparently reading is not a prerequisite for the talent - either that or speaking really slow is in style.

Secondly, are people dumb enough to believe there's no crash after 5 hours? If there was no crash, it would be called Infinite Energy drink and you'd be hopped up like Bubbles on The Wire for the rest of your life.

Silly consumers. Want to feel rested? Go to bed earlier.

1. The Audi S5 - Another list of mine, the things-I-want-but-can't-have-for-at-least-ten-more-years, just got a bit more crowded.


Cameron said...

lol @ your spelling of Renee's name.
C'mon, Andy... even I knew that! ;)

TheBigTicket said...

Even you!? You go to Duke - I misspelled "journey" and cannot for the life of me spell definitely (spell check).

The odds were against me from the jump.

Margaret said...

Wimpy choice of NPR correspondents! You didn't even take a crack at the Rome-based European correspondent? You know who I mean: Sylvia P...

TheBigTicket said...

I know, I know, I backed off a bit. I'll follow up with my secondary round of NPR no-ideas - I've already heard at least three more...