Friday, November 7, 2008

Back on the board

Ridiculousnessocity has been ridiculousness-less for long enough, so I'm off the bench like James Posey. Here we go...

iWontWork

Time to pull back the covers on the device that, not so long ago, swept the nation off its feet and into line - the iPhone 3G. Expecting rave reviews? Look elsewhere.

This phone continues to suck itself into a funnel of suckiness - amidst a bundle of "updates" and other iPhony Apple ploys to cover their tail. Truth is, the iPhone isn't half bad at everything BUT the phone function. Nothing like your calls dropping faster than freshmen in Math 001. Once a day, without a doubt. In fact, a day with just one "call failed" is a day of joy, celebration and a call to customer service to inquire why things are working. Ever hear those "more bars in more places" commercials from At&t? What they fail to mention is that a bar is as useful as a dead wombat. What the hell am I going to do with 5 dead wombats? Seriously, your coverage has more holes than the Chief's secondary and O.J's defense argument (either trial). The latest malfunction has the ear piece speaker choosing not to work at its own discretion. Don't worry, not being able to hear the other end of a phone conversation isn't that important. I mean there's always texting, email and carrier pigeons.


Happy, happy from the US Postal Service!

I could go on an absolute tear (pun intended) about the postal workers here in Los Angeles, but in fear that one may be reading while updating their "to kill" list and cleaning an M-16, I'll resist. However, take a second to observe photographic evidence that someone, somewhere really, really wanted to hear a singing birthday card. What song was it supposed to sing? That, I'll never know. By the looks of the card, it released a noise causing a postal worker to ...wait for it... GO POSTAL. Keep in mind that I made no attempt to alter the state of the card before this picture. It came just like this, inside a plastic bad with a rubber band around it. So, thanks, Postmaster. Way to tear me a new one.





Long distance dilema

I try to stay away from too much personal talk on my blog, seeing that it's visible to any human with a computer and Internet connection (including those wacky Mandanises). But I suppose I'll let you in on the perils of my long distance relationship. That pretty young creature in the pink dress atop this page is my girlfriend. Has been for nearly 11 months. Wonderful girl who I have the absolute best time with when we're together. Problem is, we're never together. I live in LA, she lives in KC. We get about four days a month, and that's on a good month. Sounds easy, right? Suck it up for the 25 or so days in between? Well, it doesn't work like that. No amount of texts, emails, calls, letters, flowers, and smoke signals can make up for the simplicity and comfort of being face to face with your significant other. I'd be lying if I told you I thought it would be easy, but I'd also be lying if I said I thought it'd be this hard. So when is too little not enough? Sounds dumb, I know. I just hope I don't have to answer that question any time soon. If you're reading, Ky, thanks for putting up with me for this long. Its been a hell of a ride.

1 comment:

David said...

glad to have you back.